So many things keep people up at night, like why Jollof Rice feels incomplete without chicken. Or how Pizza is just bread and stew that studied abroad. Anyway sha, Twitter user, @Kristin_obute was kind enough to tell the hilarious story of Jollof Rice’s love life and how Fried Rice joined the cool kids of Nigerian food.
If i was Jollof rice i would be curving bare guys in the food chain uno
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
New DM from Yam: want to hang out?
Jollof: Nigga please where do you see people having Yam with Jollof— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Be out there dating one fine laiiskeen plantain doing twitter couple
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Moi moi would be that nigga that wants to date me but he’s 5’4 so we besties
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Fried rice is that friend that knows she’s prettier than me but doesn’t understand the hype around me..lowkey likes plantain…
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
I would be turning up in all the big parties n events..niggas know its goan be live if I’m there..but i dont club cos good girl uno
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Coleslaw/Salad giving me by the side uno..all that cream..making me glow lowkey… my account balance popping too cos they loaded
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Eba would be awon haters..always at parties with me but most people pick me first..think i want their man..but Jollof n Egusi..ewww please
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Friends with Agidi cos she dating my bestie Moi moi..Eba n her Amala crew hating on us cos Agidi is IJGB of Swallow Squad..
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
They lowkey think we tweet bout them but
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016its just RTs from FatTwitter Slander uno
its just RTs from FatTwitter Slander uno Fried rice claims she’s my besties..always photobombing my selfies.. post on IG #Besties#MixedRice but still gossips to White rice bout me
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
White rice doesn’t like anyone of us but somehow gets involved in all our drama…she’s the keep me anon that tells SDM bout our gist
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Now everyone knows Plantain gave Fried Rice at Socialiga and Salad paid for my Tw.wig tab
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Eba n co have alot to tweet..Moi moi in my dms
Moi moi talmbout gimme a chance.. but he’s 5’4 and I’m Jollof… plus Agidi is my guy..so I’m posting snaps with him but curving his ass
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Plantain replying my snaps like “Wyd thought y’all just friends” “it was just once uno” “i dont even like that bitch” “u aint all that uno”
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Yam dropping subs like “date a good man” like fam aint nobody want your rachy ass.. Beans said shes been itchy since yall dated..check ursef
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Beans in my dms like “sorry babe” but i know shes tryna find out if i would go with her ex Yam..likes his dumbass even if he gave her STI
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
I dont know why shes hanging with dead guys uno she could be with a guy like Plantain but she doesnt think shes that buff..and hes proud AF
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Akara is just Faving n laughing…Anon Twitter… everyone knows you are giving Pap yo.. but forming long distance with Custard but
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016☕
☕Custard is sending you all those pretty shoes and bags you use as your Avi… we really dont care uno.. keep my name outta ur tweets
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Moi moi DMs (been a while spoke): sorry about my sister (Akara) me: Don curr
Moi moi: ur ex just left..i think he’s dating Beans but lowks — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
I saw that shii coming uno..but I’m petty so i send “Hey Big Head” to Plantain just to Fuvk shit up a bit….
Plantain: You alright babe? — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
*Airs Dm*
Tweets:Weekend Goan be live with my goons *puts old picture of me and beans* we aint even that close..but i know he would see it— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Beans replies: “Yass gurll turn up”
Me thinking Fam I’m setting ur ass up.. Tweets:*4 missed call* Plantain Text: U coming Sat?.. P. — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Replies Plantain: Not sure..you?
Plantain: Yeah.. we should talk Airs text.. stress *Ice retweeted your tweet* — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Ice Dms:Coming Sat? goan be live..Cookies bringing some dope shii..bring ur girls..Free drinks for y’all, help me RT my Pinned tweet
Me:Aii — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Small Chops: Sat? Who’s coming? Beef: Yayy *shares tweet with gizzard* That babe on ur mans TL yo Gizzard: fucking hoe kmt
*Gizzard faves* — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Gizzard shares screenshot* Small chops: why u faving tweets tho Gizzard: you know why Small chops: nothing happened
Group chat: Me:☕ Egg:— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) Pizza: thats what they all say next thing they are giving your bestfriend in Socialiga
Egg:Me: still sore fam
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Gizzard: Savage
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Dead
Pizza: btw he’s dating ur short bestfriends ugly sister..deadass hiding her ugly ass Me:
be nice Egg: dying
Pizza: Egg might be dying cos Yam probabaly gave her some shii uno☕
Me: WowGizzard:
*Egg has left the group chat* Me: oh shit
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Gizzard:
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) BBM* Me:Babe howfar? It was a joke na Egg: i really like him Me: we know..Pizza has bad mouth free her jo Egg:only talk to her cos of you
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
*Jollof Added Egg to Group Chat* Me: Ice said i should invite you guys for Saturday Pizza: Ice? The one dating that babe with fake accent?
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Egg: Oshey IJGB..i ‘ve the real init accent Pizza: ode
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Me:its not fake jo Gizzard: Abeg she’s always trying to copy Coke jor..Fake famzer
Me: but Coke n ice tho
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Pizza: Cookkeee n icceeee
Egg: those two
Gizzard:they are bestfriends Me:
Egg:free that side
Gizzard:they are bestfriends
Me:Gizzard: Wait?! They are not just bestfriends Me: guyy
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Pizza: Like you and plantain that year
Egg:
Gizzard:Fuck you guys..
Me:lowks Coke n Ice
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Pizza: Coke n Ice is fucking dope yo!..they need to be a serious thing
Egg: Pizza check Icecreams snap
Pizza: Why?
Pizza: Coke n Ice is fucking dope yo!..they need to be a serious thing
Egg: Pizza check Icecreams snapPizza:GUYYSSS Icecreams in Lag n he got a job in my office..hohoho
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Me:Wait Dominos? Pizza:No Coldstone Egg:Yooooo
Gizzard:
Pizza:Rarrr I’ve a new topping and it aint cheese
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Me: you are disgusting
Egg:Sav
Gizzard: Creamy cheese
Me: Guys
Pizza: Uno
Me: GuysMe:Remember that guy i used to collect from when i was with Plantain Egg: the rich guy Pizza:Salad abi Coleslaw whats that his name? Me:
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Gizzard: ehen what happened? Me: he’s with Fish now
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Pizza:wasnt she dating that IJGB Chips Egg:
Me:uno Gizzard:that babe stinks yo bleh
Egg:so Chips is Singu? Me: Stop Gizzard:i thought you and yam…? Pizza:Hoee!! Go gurlll
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Me:Guys..Chicken just Dmed me
Pizza:
Egg: Oho
Pizza:Pizza: You guyyss go to Twitter Plaintain n Beans Engaged..Fried Rice Called Beans black and Ugly
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Me:oh shit
Twitter Jollof: Black and Ugly but she got the ring uno☕ Amala: lmaoo cc @ Fried rice Fried rice: Nobody called ur black round self here FOH
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Akara: Hoes everywhere
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016smelling TL bleh Custard: Catfish too is talking Bread: @ custard guy delete that Custard: cos you fuvking her now?
Ewa G: @ bread @ Custard Oh?! Bread: i just think its disrespectful to disrespect women EwaG: Are you fuking her or not?@ bread Me: cc @ egg
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Egg: Somebody that can sleep with anything that moves
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Bread: But you slept with someone’s fiance
Potato: @ plantain Eba:
Beans: huh?
Asun: Big Endorsement coming through
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Pohnmo: Guyyy GOAT
Bole: Epp
Suya: New single with Asun we move
White Rice
Asun: Basic bitches
Pohnmo: Guyyy GOAT
White RiceCoke: Fall in love with your bestfriend Pizza: you go girl Coke: lool what? Gizzard:
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016*Ice Faved tweet* Malibu: @ coke Word
Me:
Snail: the night is dark..thats how stars are made in your darkest moments
Agidi: this one is always high.. Moi moi: Slowguyy show na — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Jollof:
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Wedding fleek with bae @ Chicken Chicken:
Fried Rice: Damn Gurll what seasoning did you use Jollof: Knorr Cubes Egg: Goals
Wedding fleek with bae @ Chicken
Chicken:Semovita:they will steal this ones new bae again
Jollof:i think people make mistakes like your brows u need 2 let it go like your weight☕
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Pizza: gurll
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Egg: Chill are we friends with Fried rice again Gizzard: i think so Me: i miss her
Pizza:Yass *Fried rice added 2 groupchat*
*The End*
— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Shout out to @Kristine_obute. You’re officially crazier than all of us at Zikoko.
The post The Hilarious Story Of Jollof Rice’s Love Life appeared first on Zikoko!.