1. When you’re in a bus and someone taps you to ask a question so you start screaming.
GET BEHIND ME SATAN! IT IS NOT ME YOU WILL JAZZ!!
2. When you’re having a drink with friends and you have to go pee so you leave your drink, come back and immediately start wondering if one them poisoned the drink while you were gone.
Or what if all of them joined hand to poison me?
3. When you’re travelling and the car breaks down but you believe they’ve taken you to a kidnapper’s den to be slaughtered.
SAVE ME JESUS!
4. When you’re walking at night and you see a black cat so you freak out.
Bad luck is not my portion!
5. When you’re walking through Oshodi and someone randomly hits you so you check to see if your penis is still in place.
MY PENIS IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!!!
6. When an old woman with arthritis begs you to help her cross the road but you start running because you’re sure your evil grand mother from the village has come to destroy your destiny.
I see through your disguise granny!
7. When a female friend cooks for you and you wonder if she put jazz in the food to trap you as a love slave.
I saw that Nigerian movie with R.M.D. It’s not me that will be washing pant.
8. When your suspicious looking neighbor shakes your hand while greeting you so you immediately go home and soak that hand in anointing oil.
Oil of Christ, wash me clean!
Liked this article? Then you’ll love this one about all the times Nigerians had serious trust issues.
10 Times Nigerians Had Serious Trust Issues
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