She’s Just Not That Into You. And You Should Know.

Almost everyone has been there before; the emotional abyss that is unrequited love.

You like her and you think she likes you back. But you’re the only one who can see it.

Sometimes it’s easy to tell that you’re jonzing and your infatuation is a one-way street

Other times, your Disney upbringing gets the better of you.

Most times, the whole thing starts innocently, or so you think.

You can’t see that little-winger mother****** , lurking in the corner, trying to kill you.

That’s why you didn’t think anything of it when you first met in the most unintended circumstances.

“I was sitting in a corner, babe. You were in a sitting in another corner, sitting at a table for two…”

But then you got home and you couldn’t get her out of your head.

E dey happen. Embrace your feelings and all that level.

As a sharp guy, you try to create situations where you can breathe the same air for a while.

There. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. Coincidence.

And then she takes them with aplomb.

So you go in for the kill.

Put her on lockdown. Get Money. Make tiny kings and queens. You have it all planned out.

But it doesn’t go as planned.

This can happen in a number of ways but because we are sadomasochists, we will not go into them now.

But you chalk it down to her playing hard to get.

Aspire and perspire to acquire what you desire – Fela Durotoye

So you re-strategise and go looking again.

I like woman. I dey straightforward o!

But this time, she just keeps you hanging.

As a true believer, you look forward – with hope.

By the time you realise what’s going on, you’ve lost something.

Time. Self-respect. Or even worse, your money!

Or even worse, you crossed a red line.

No means no – but some of you still can’t process simple phrases.

That’s why it’s better to let people say what they want – especially the opposite sex.

If it’s gonna happen, it will happen. This isn’t One Tree Hill for chrissake.