Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our new weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.

For this week’s Aluta and Chill, we spoke with Khalilah Ahmed, a 300 level student of Fountain University, Osogbo. She talks about what it means to be a victim of admission scam and finding a second chance in another school.

Fountain University is a private university. This means when you hear about ASUU and strikes in the news, you can’t relate. How does that feel?

It’s great. I know I have a limited time here, and nothing will extend that time. The stability bangs. It’s easier to plan for what comes after university, this way. 

I only understand that this is super important because I’ve passed through the public university system. Before Fountain university, I was at Lagos State University, studying Law. Law was what my parents wanted, and being the good girl that I am, I went for it. I was in my second year when I left.

Wait a minute, did you eventually decide law wasn’t for you and left or did you leave because of the strikes?

I wish one of those reasons was the answer. It’s a sad story, really. I was at LASU until I discovered my entire admission was a scam, that I wasn’t really a student of the university. I had no choice but to leave.

Whoa. This went from 0 to 100 real quick.

Yup. Someone at the LASU ICT department helped me with the admission process. I sent him my details and all. Everything I did went through him. And I thought that was pretty standard, until everything scattered and the truth came out.

How long did you spend in LASU before you found out?

About two years. In hindsight, I should have guessed something was up since my first year. First, I had issues with getting my matric number. Then, there was a problem with printing the eligibility letter that I needed for my 100 level exams. Somehow, he sorted it out and kept the mirage up. 

How did you find out?

It was exam time again in 200 level. He’d left the school at this time – thank goodness –  so I had to meet someone else. He checked my name on the central database, and he found nothing. As in, I was never really a student. I didn’t exist. Everything up to that point was fake.

That must have been heartbreaking. 

I wanted to die.  But again, it was good that I found out as early as I did. It could have been worse if I’d found out later. I mean, imagine if I’d found out in my final year, just as I was about to enter law school or something.

Did this issue affect your choice in choosing another university? Why a private university, as opposed to a public university again? 

Well, my dad’s friend works at Fountain, and when the LASU thing happened, he told my dad about Fountain and sold him the idea of me studying here. It was the best alternative at the time, so I wrote another JAMB, gathered my O’ Level results and started all over again.

What mental preparation went into adjusting into the new environment?

It was hard at first. I like to maintain a small circle, so I only had a few friends at LASU. Then I had to leave, come here, and make new friends. It was really difficult. The only exciting thing about transferring here was the fact that I was finally leaving Lagos. It felt like an escape.

I get that. But still, Fountain is a Islamic faith-based school. You must have had more freedom at LASU where no one really cares about your faith and all. How was it like navigating a new campus with stricter rules?

There is not much to do here outside academics and religion. Fountain University is a very boring place; all you do is go to class, go to mosque for prayers, sleep, and repeat. At LASU, I wasn’t under a strict schedule and had the liberty to do anything I wanted when I wanted. To say the least, it can be frustrating.

It feels like you’re stuck with a routine, doesn’t it?

It does. They have a fixed way of doing pretty much everything, and nobody wants to rebel or try to change anything because it might result in suspension. The communication between the management and students is a one-way model; there is no free flow, no avenue to lay our complaints, and everyone is even scared to do that. So, we all stay in our lane.

There are no student leaders who can speak on behalf of students, are there?

There are, actually, but we didn’t always choose them, not until the last election anyway. Before that, we used the Shura system, they just picked someone based on criteria like grades. But now that we choose the people we wanted, I hope things will change. I really do.

I’ll bet. From what you’ve said, Fountain and LASU are two different worlds. Do you have a coping mechanism?

Sort of. I have to believe that I can do it; that I could stay and make the best use of my time here. This is my second chance. Also, My brother was really there for me when I first got here; I told him virtually everything and he was always there to listen. I know what I said about how I suck at making friends, but I had a couple of people with whom I was cool with when I first got here. They were in 400 level, but they made the adjustment easier than it would have been if I was alone.

It helps that I’m now studying Mass Communication as well. I mean, Law wasn’t bad at LASU, but I just find Mass Communication more interesting, so it’s sort of easier. It feels like I’m finally doing what I should be doing.

That’s refreshing, but do you think Law would have been a complete waste of time?

Not really. I just don’t find it enjoyable as I do mass communication. If the LASU complication didn’t happen and I graduated with a degree in Law, chances are that I would drop it somewhere and do something related to communication.

So you think something good came out of the bitter experience?

You could say so. Most of the things I’m doing right now are related to communication, even outside of academics. There is this female group I started with two other ladies two years ago. We teach other girls, especially fresh students all the basic media things; how to use a camera, how to edit, do voice-overs, etc. I really enjoy doing this because I feel so useful, so at peace with myself at every session. The best part of it all is that it doesn’t eat too much into my time – two hours on Saturdays and two extra hours on Sundays. It’s really fulfilling

Lit.

Yeah, it is. I have also been exploring the outspoken traits in me. My public speaking game is on another level than it was at LASU. I’m a very shy person, but that can’t stop me now – I can’t let it stop me. There is still a long way to go, but baby steps. 

You have quite a story. Now, you’re in your third year and close to the finish line now. What does that mean for you?

There are lots of expectations. I’m almost done with school now, so everyone expects me to have it figured out. If I tell them I’m going for service after school, they will take it further and ask what I have planned after that. And the plan is still fuzzy at the moment. So yes, there is a lot of pressure attached to it. However, I know that as the time draws closer, I will be a step closer to figuring everything out. One step at a time, abeg.

Check back every Thursday at noon for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.

The post She Couldn’t Let An Admission Scam Stop Her: Khalilah’s Aluta and Chill appeared first on Zikoko!.

Unlike how much you have sitting in your account, your net worth is the total measure of your wealth — the difference between your assets and your liabilities. So, based on your lifestyle choices, we will try to guess what your current net worth is.

Have a go at it:

The post QUIZ: Can We Guess Your Current Net Worth? appeared first on Zikoko!.

Nigerians can make anything popular; if we all get behind a brand, that brand is made for life. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that some brands are used as a generic term for certain products or services because of how popular they’ve become.

Here’s a list of some of them:

1) NEPA:

Long before the power sector was privatized in Nigeria, it was called the National Electric Power Authority (NEPA) in the 70s. However, NEPA has become a huge part of our lingo which is why everyone conveniently forgets that the name ceased to exist when it was changed to the Power Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN).

Now, everyone in Nigeria knows that “Up NEPA” means one thing only–the low voltage and epileptic power supply is back on for everyone to use for few hours.

2) Maggi:

Due to its popularity as a longstanding brand in the cooking industry, Maggi remains the generic name for every other food seasoning.

Nowadays, vendors always ask you to specify which brand you’re referring to when you ask for Maggi.

3) Indomie:

As far as Nigerians are concerned, every noodle is Indomie.

So we disregard the fact that Indomie is a brand of noodles because nobody really cares about that distinction; just give us the noodle, let’s eat.

4) Milo:

Milo, a Nestle beverage product, has been tagged by many Nigerians as the generic name for every cocoa food drink in the country.

5) Hypo:

For a while, Jik was leading the pack but Hypo snatched its hat and has made itself the most recognized brand in the bleaching industry. The sad thing is, every other bleaching agent is now called Hypo.

6) Bagco:

Ask a market woman in Nigeria for a sack and she will correct you, saying; “Do you mean Bagco?”

7) Gala:

All hail Gala! This sausage roll brand has become the widespread name for every other sausage roll in Nigeria.

So no matter how hard other companies try to stand out with their brand name, Gala knocks them dead by staying on the lips of every consumer.

8) Dettol:

Odds are if you ask any Nigerian what their favorite antiseptic brand is, the answer would be, Dettol. This is not because it actually is, but because everyone refers to all antiseptic liquid as Dettol.

9) Macleans:

If you’re one of those people who automatically think of Macleans when someone says toothpaste, then you sure fit into the category of Nigerians who call every toothpaste Macleans.

Which brand do you think we left out? Let us know in the comments.

The post 9 Brand Names That Have Become Generic In Nigeria appeared first on Zikoko!.

There’s so much new music being released that it’s hard for even the most loyal fans to wade through the trash to find the gems. That’s why we’ve created #BumpThis – a daily series that features new songs, by and featuring Nigerians, that you absolutely need to hear.

Dremo — “Chairman”

After emerging as one of the strongest featured acts on Davido’s sophomore album, A Good Time — bodying two US rappers, Gunna and A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, in the process — Dremo is now back with a brand new single, “Chairman”.

With the Benjamz-produced track, which is all about securing the bag and putting his haters to shame, Dremo reminds listeners that he’s just as good a singer as he is a rapper. If “Chairman” doesn’t end up being one of the DMW star’s biggest hits, it’d be a shocker. 

Wavy The Creator — “3” ft. Flohio

It’s been a little while since we got a brand new solo track from Wavy The Creator, so it’s great that her new release, “3” is so damn good. Featuring acclaimed UK rapper, Flohio, the fantastic single is one of the versatile star’s most infectious efforts to date. 

Produced by Jay Brown, “3” follows a love triangle, as Wavy finds herself in the middle of a couple’s relationship. Like with most of Wavy’s songs, the accompanying video really ties the story together, making for a rather compelling portrait of modern love. 

The post #BumpThis: Dremo’s “Chairman” & Wavy The Creator’s “3” appeared first on Zikoko!.

It’s been three weeks since the highly-anticipated movie, Living In Bondage: Breaking Free, was released and it has since become one of Nollywood’s biggest movies of all time, shattering records left and right.

I don’t know how to connect the previous paragraph to this one. Here’s a quiz to test your knowledge of the movie’s plot. Bon appetit.

The post QUIZ: Only True ‘Living In Bondage: Breaking Free’ Fans Will Get 10/10 appeared first on Zikoko!.

For creators, inspiration can be found in the most unexpected places. That’s why we created #Watchlist — a series that asks Nigerian video directors to list the most interesting things that influenced their creative choices while shooting.

The most essential Nigerian star of the past two years, Burna Boy kicked off 2019 with the clip for his Zlatan-assisted gem, “Killin Dem”. While the song actually dropped in 2018, the dynamic video helped turn the banger into one of the year’s biggest hits.

So, as the video just crossed 20 million views on YouTube, we decided to talk to Prodigeezy, the Headies-nominated director behind it all. Driven by a desire to make “the greatest Zanku video ever”, here’s how he put together one of 2019’s most unforgettable clips.

On main inspiration:

When we got to set, I remember saying to Wande Thomas, the producer of the video, “This has to be the greatest Zanku video ever”, and it turned out to be exactly that.

Inspiration always starts with the song. It creates a visual universe you can explore. “Killin Dem” inspired the overall mood of the video, influencing location, choreography, directing and cinematography decisions.

On the intended effect:

I wanted to create something epic for the Zanku culture. The song had only been out for a few days, but I knew it had the potential to be one of the biggest Zanku songs ever.

It needed to have a video that would equally represent, and my vision was for people to see images and frames from the video each time they heard the words “Gbese” and “Zanku”.

On visual references:

The visuals were inspired by photowalks I had taken around that location a while back. Lagos island is one of my favourite places to shoot because of its authenticity — a seamless blend of the old and new.

It definitely matched the energy of the collaboration and was a no-brainer. As far as influences, Adriaan Louw’s work with Major Lazer created an interesting palette which we borrowed some elements from.

A picture from Prodigeezy’s photowalk

Major Lazer and Burna Boy’s “All My Life”

On casting and performance references:

The style choices in the video were influenced by the fusion of afrobeat and hip-hop dance culture. As for the performances in the video, everyone was just matching Zlatan and Burnaboy’s energy.

On oddest influence:

The harmattan. It’s my favourite season of the year, and it was still dry and windy when we filmed. It must have subconsciously influenced parts of the creative process. Not sure which parts, but it did something for sure.

The post #Watchlist: Prodigeezy On Directing Burna Boy’s “Killin Dem” appeared first on Zikoko!.

Last year, Olamide dropped YBNL Mafia Family, an overstuffed and ultimately forgettable compilation project, which had only one bright spot: Fireboy DML. “Jealous”, the 23-year-old’s solo effort on the mixtape, deservedly turned him into a breakout star.

Since the success of that song, Fireboy has pushed two more fantastic singles, “What If I Say” and the previously released “King”. Now, in what has to be record time, the rising star has come out with his ambitious debut album, Laughter, Tears & Goosebumps.

On the 13-track project, Fireboy proves he is the real deal. Not only does he sound amazing, showcasing his astonishing voice on songs like “Need You” and “Feel”, but he is also a really intuitive songwriter – effortlessly alternating between funny and moving.

He thoughtfully tackles a number of topics, from struggling to balance love and stardom on “Gbas Gbos”, to the importance of appreciating our loved ones on “High On Life”. Even when he is simply singing about love, he finds a way to make the overdone topic feel fresh.

Even more impressive than the overall quality of the songs, is the fact that Fireboy does it all on his own. It takes a lot of confidence to drop a debut album without any features, but as the project proves, Fireboy is talented and versatile enough pull it off.

All in all, Laugher, Tears & Goosebumps is an astonishing debut from Fireboy, filled with smartly-written love songs and perfectly-produced party-starters. The project will undoubtedly be regarded as one of the year’s most impressive releases.

Listen to Laughter, Tears & Goosebumps below:

The post On ‘Laughter, Tears & Goosebumps’, Fireboy DML Proves He’s The Real Deal appeared first on Zikoko!.

Who moves to a whole other country, a whole other city on a Saturday and immediately starts work Monday? The subject of today’s Abroad Life, that’s who.

Yomi Eluwande is a developer who recently made the move to Germany to work for the women’s health company – Clue. We caught up with him to learn how his first week in the abroad went.

So we’re going to start with a little Expectation V Reality. What were three things you were expecting and how did Germany tell you ‘Cross the arrivals gate for a surprise’?

Let’s see. First has to be the usual suspect – the cold. So when I was coming, people told me to expect better otutu (cold), so I thought carrying a winter jacket on the plane would be enough. I was wrong.

Uh-oh.

The worst part is, this is just autumn. Winter is coming.

Free advice, no matter how much you’ve been cranking your AC for abroad-cold training, carry gloves along on the plane if you’re planning on moving to Germany around this time.

So part one of the Moving to Germany Starter Pack: winter clothes, have your gloves on lock. Got it. How else did Germany surprise you?

Okay. I moved to Germany last week Saturday and I went to work Monday. Guess how many black people I saw from the time I left the airport, until I got to work Monday?

One jillion?

Remove the jillion.

One?!

Yepp. I don’t know where everyone was hiding, but I didn’t see another black person until I got to work on Monday. 

What in the ‘Get Out‘?

Thankfully, I’ve seen more black people since then — on the train, on the bus. But it was really weird those first few days. For the last surprise, I’ll have to say the food. Sometime last week, I was feeling a little nostalgic so I went to buy a shawarma. Two minutes in and I was looking around to ask if they had closed the border in Berlin too. No chicken, just bread and vegetables. It was rough!

Wow, we demand shawarma justice. Okay, random question. Who was the most famous German you knew before moving?

I’ll have to say Chancellor Merkel.

And now? Say,who’s the biggest in music over there?

Ah, this one is tough oh. I just know they play a lot of techno music. I haven’t started learning any names just yet. I still listen to my Burna Boy and Naira Marley over here.

Abayomi rise, don’t let this international exposure waste!

Hahaa.

So before we get into your first week, why even are you in Germany?

Work oh. These Euros won’t make themselves. I had two friends that moved abroad very early this year. One to London, the other to Dubai. So I did what any reasonable person would.

Which is?

I opened a big spreadsheet, put in all the foreign companies I wanted to work for and began sending emails. I sent about 62 emails and got only one response. That’s the company I currently work for as a developer.

I stan a determined japa.

I started working remote for my current company – Clue, in May. But I got the job offer in February. That same February, I applied to the German embassy for a visa application appointment and I didn’t get a response until October. This was just for the appointment oh.

Wow, wow. Really tighting their country to their chest. That’s a whole appointment baby.

I know! After the appointment, it took another three weeks before the visa was issued. As soon as I got it, I booked my ticket. No time. My employers had been really patient so I wasn’t about to spend more time in Nigeria.

Let’s talk about when you first got to Berlin-Tegel. Did you clap when the plane landed? This is a safe space.

Haha, no now. But I won’t lie, in my head I was like finally oh.!

So another quick versus. Murtala Muhammed and Berlin Tegel, who’s winning?

So funny thing, Murtala Muhammed might actually be finer. The thing with Germans is, they have a crazy maintenance culture because that airport is very old. This doesn’t mean it’s not well maintained though. I don’t know sha, I had a stopover at Istanbul, so maybe that’s what I’m using to compare.

Wait oh, it’s MM2 inside this race.

Okay wait, maybe I made a mistyek! Don’t let anybody come after me abeg. My bias might be showing because I didn’t have the very best experience at the airport. So, when you get to immigration at Berlin-Tegel, you’ll notice two lines. One for members of the EU and the other for well, others.

Oh?

Yepp. But at the time, I didn’t know what the lines were for, and I wasn’t about to enter any line that would take my enemy back to Nigeria, so I tried asking one of the female workers present, if you see the eye she gave me!

Wow wow.

Then she started speaking German, and if you’ve ever heard the language, you know the kind of muscle they use to speak. Sha, I ended up asking another person of colour that was on the plane with me and they explained what the lines were for. It was a minor incident but it kind of soured my arrival experience. But only a little.

Where is the love? 

So after making it through immigration, what were your next steps being new and unfamiliar with the country?

Remember how I said I had already started working for my company way back in February? Well, my colleagues and I had already gotten pretty cool, so they arranged to pick me from the airport and I didn’t have to worry about finding my way. Now speaking of pick up, let me burst your head small.

*Awaits scalp decimation*

You know how in Nigerian airports you’ll have all these guys shouting ‘taxi’, ‘taxi’ or highest you can get an Uber out? Well these people have taken it to another level. My colleagues drove me out of the airport in a car they rented through an app. Like there was no driver, no key. The app – WeShare, just directed them to an available, empty car at the airport. They unlocked it there and then with the app, pushed to start the car and we drove out in it.

*Stares in third world*

And it’s normal for them. Apparently they have spots you can return these cars or you can just drop them at the side of any road for the next person to find with the app. 

Ikeja-Under bridge could never. So you had your transportation sorted, how about accommodation?

See, even though that visa delay was annoying as hell, it gave me enough time to plan like I was preparing for Senior WAEC. So I had already looked through enough Airbnbs before coming to Berlin, and I finally settled on one for 703 Euros a month in Neukolln. It was already sorted before I came.

Curious. How much is average rent in Berlin?

Hmm, well it depends. If you’re sharing a space, you could probably spend between €500- €600. But if you want your own place, get ready to cough out anything between €800 – €1000. Plus, depends on where it is, get an apartment somewhere like Charlottenburg, which is like say the Lekki of Berlin, then it could go way higher.

Must.not.convert.Euros.to.Naira. And hidden charges? No agency fees ready to charge at your wallet?

Oh, oh, they have this thing here! So there’s ‘cold’ and ‘warm’ rent. Say a place costs €800, that’s the cold rent. But once you start adding utilities like water and heating, the price goes up. That’s called ‘warm rent’, pretty much a service charge. With that, your rent can go up from €800 to like €1000 a month.

Accidentally converted that to Naira in my head. So are you sure you don’t want to sharply buy black Friday ticket to Nigeria because this tew much?

Yeaaah, I’m good luv. Enjoy.

Haha. So earlier you said you got to Berlin Saturday and were at work by Monday. How is the commute and how did your first week go?

So, like I said, I came very prepared. By Sunday, I did a quick test run from my apartment to where work is. Two trains and one bus and I’m at work in 21 minutes. Already paid €81 for a monthly transport pass for the bus and the train so I’m fully strapped for this month. The painful part is, since I’ve been entering the trains and buses, no one has checked for my pass. I could have been entering for free. Sigh.

What a betrayed!

Now to my colleagues, just look at how they welcomed me on my first day. Just see. Absolute best guys!

Because I was already familiar with them, it was just finally meeting in person and the workweek went by pretty calmly. Just picked up where I left off in Nigeria, so it was nothing new.

And is communicating with your colleagues easy? With them speaking a whole other language?

Well, my office is pretty diverse. And there are English and German speakers scattered about, so it really hasn’t been the most difficult experience. My German is very limited, so I’m thankful for the diversity.

So accommodation ✓. Transport ✓. Work ✓. Now to the most important thing you should have secured in your first week – the jollof.

Man, by the end of the week I had taken enough falafels and burgers. I needed jollof rice inside me. So I went to the African shops to get ingredients. One is called Afro Shop and the other is Alpha and Omega and they’re both owned by Ghanaians. 

And these guys don’t just stock food. They have everything, wigs, clothes, Malta Guinness. Name it.

What has been the worst experience in Germany so far?

Hmm, white people staring in the streets. It is so weird, like they can’t help it. I’ve started doing my own back sha, everybody has eyes.

Then opening a bank account. So to do that, you have to verify your identity, scan your passport, that kind of thing. I wrote Yomi instead of Abayomi when registering and this mistake took days to correct. Like, I was just wondering, if it’s a tech problem, is it not this same tech we’re all doing? I just couldn’t understand the reason for the delay, it’s all sorted now sha. But still.

So I know you’ve been in Germany only one week, but how is a future there looking?

 Do you know you have to renounce your original citizenship before you can become a German national? And to renounce your Nigerian citizenship, the president has to sign? Omo!

Wow, wow. My guy you’ve been here one week, you’re already looking to become a citizen?

Ah, be waiting.

Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.

The post The Germany Diary. Yomi’s First Week Living The Abroad Life appeared first on Zikoko!.

1. The fun times when you couldn’t go a day without talking to them

This is fun. We are having so much fun.

2. It’s getting boring but you are still making an effort

This used to be a fun thing to do. Maybe it’s a phase.

3. Now, you’re tired of making any effort

“Nah, it’s not a phase. It’s just not meant to be.”

4. You promise to call or text them every time, but you know that you won’t

I will call you, I swear. When the sun rises in the west, sets in the east. When the seas go dry. When the mountains blow in the wind like leaves.

5. When they call you and you immediately throw in the “you forgot me” line before they do

Is this how you used to do? Just forget people like that.

6. When you run into them and find a cover before they see you

O fe ka mi o. Mo ya look away.

7. When you couldn’t duck fast enough, and now, you have to talk to them

Sorry, I’ve not called you. The network is really bad in my area.

8. When you miss them and you want to call but you feel like too much time has passed

It’s too late. They are probably somewhere living their best life. Everyone wins

9. So you stalk them on social media

Wow. They are really living their best life. Without me.

10. When you notice that they don’t call or text you anymore

Wow. Human beings are scum.

11. When you realise that you’re the shit person and try to get back into their lives

I’ve realised the folly of my ways. I was young and stupid. Please come back.

The post 11 Things People Who Can’t Maintain A Relationship Will Relate To appeared first on Zikoko!.

Acrophobia or the fear of heights is a big thing that a lot of people have to deal with. Those who face it on a daily know that the only way to deal with it is to accept and live through it.

Here are some things you’ll relate to if you have a fear of heights:

Cussing the creators of pedestrian bridges

So you want me to die by slipping and falling, when I can take my chances with fast cars on the expressway and the LASTMA fine?

Trying not to look down but doing so anyway:

…because curiosity killed the cat and this cat has a strong desire for things it fears the most.

Feeling dizzy, hot and bothered:

Your mind starts playing games and you feel like the world is tilting toward you, literally.

You can’t even climb the stairs without holding on with a death grip

While waiting for the person climbing beside you to pass before you proceed, so you don’t fall on your face. 

Getting into a lift is the worst thing ever:

That momentary out of body experience is not appealing at all. 

An escalator? Forget it

You’d rather walk around the building 400 times or climb the stairs to get to the 1000th floor.

Cringing every time your grandma throws a baby in the air

Because only a sadist would do that!

You wonder why everyone brags about the jet-setting lifestyle

What’s so fun about getting into an airplane and experiencing vertigo throughout your flight? You prefer a road-trip, thank you very much!

Lost dreams and dead thrills

You’d have been a great gymnast, swinging from poles effortlessly if not for this acrophobia that won’t let you be great. Now you know you’ll never be able to live out your bucket list of true adventures which involves sky diving and rock climbing.

The post 9 Things People With Fear Of Heights Can Relate To appeared first on Zikoko!.

If there’s one book that every Nigerian, both old and young, rich and not-so-rich have read, it is Chinua Achebe’s classic novel, Things Fall Apart. This book marked a milestone for Nigeria and African Literature. It’s been several years since it was published, but people all over the world still read it and talk about it. I would say don’t call yourself a Nigerian if you haven’t read it, but then, the joke will be on me.

Take this quiz and we’ll find out if you’ve truly read it or not.

The post Quiz: How Well Do You Remember This Classic Novel, “Things Fall Apart”? appeared first on Zikoko!.

Over a year ago, Ajebutter22 and BOJ teamed up for the incredible Make E No Cause Fight — a joint EP that easily ranks as the best thing either of them has ever put out. Now, they’ve reunited for a Falz-assisted follow-up, Make E No Cause Fight 2.

On the 5-track project, Ajebutter22 and BOJ, both operating at the peak of their powers, confirm that their palpable chemistry is still very much intact; while Falz, who soars on every single track, continues to prove he’s always a great addition to just about anything. 

Unlike the original, which explored a wider range of themes, Make E No Cause Fight 2 is a bit more focused on relationships. On “Ronaldo”, the trio use a barrage of football puns to allude to sex, while “Baminam” is about an affair between a friend and a lover.

Like on the first project, the production and BOJ’s hooks stand out, but Ajebutter is somehow even stronger this time around (his verse on “Rock Your Body” is a highlight). As for guests, Reminisce soars on “Faaji”, while Tems’ lowkey work on “Too Many Women” is exquisite.

Creating a sequel that’s both good and necessary can be immensely tasking, and although Make E No Cause Fight 2 isn’t the rare follow-up that surpasses the greatness of its original, it’s still an impressive project that makes a very solid case for its own existence.

Listen to Make E No Cause Fight 2 below:

The post On ‘Make E No Cause Fight 2’, BOJ, Ajebutter22 & Falz appeared first on Zikoko!.

Imagine if you could get $1000 right now, for doing the barest minimum or something very regular, something you did everyday. How would you feel? This is definitely you when you get the alert:

But wait oh, how much is $1000 in naira? Let’s just say A LOT OF MONEY. Which is about 362,500 naira. Let’s allow you a few minutes to let that sink in.

You know what’s even better than $1000? It’s a $1000 wardrobe allowance. A little bird just told us that your lit selfie could earn you this.

No we are not joking. Just imagine how many clothes you’d get with that amount of money and how many people you would tension.

The truth is, with this amount of money, people have a whole lot of different fashion-related things they would like to explore. We did some investigation and found out that there are five kinds of people on this planet, based on what they would do if they were one of the lucky people to win $1000 worth of clothing allowance.

• The people who say they only shop at Balogun.

It’s like someone telling you that they want to carry you for a vacation in the abroad, but you’re saying you’re okay staying at home. My friend will you keep quiet. We all need to diversify our wardrobe, upgrade and try out new styles now and then, and you know what, $1000 and a lit selfie is all you need.

• People that say they want cash instead.

Just so that they can go to Kohinoor Lounge and pop as much as they can. For them, it’s the drip or nothing.

• People who convert the $1000 dollars to cash so they can buy one shoe they’ve been eyeing since with the entire money

We were just counting how many clothes you could buy with that money. Now someone wants to use it to buy one shoe. Hmm okay oh. Eyan Mayweather, we see you.

• The ones that buy three mad outfits for Detty December

Detty December can never be complete without bringing your slay game into the picture. That’s the rule, we didn’t make it up. That’s why we can’t help but stan some people who said, they’ll be buying three correct outfits just to slay everyone this Detty December, turn up at every event and let everyone know that they were #StyledByInfinixS5. A what? A vibe.

• The ones that are smart enough to buy the Infinix S5 because they know that after the fashion upgrade, you need to take lit selfies.

You know what’s as important than new clothes? Lit selfies with your new Infinix S5.

You could be one of these kind of people by doing posting a glamarous selfie and using the hashtags #StyledByInfinixS5, #DoTheMostWithInfinixS5 and get ready for Detty December with #InfinixS5. This would earn you the chance to win $1000 in clothing allowance.

The infinix S5 is the number one lifestyle smartphone that helps you capture your sense of fashion and style with its crystal clear 32 MP front camera and 6.6-inch display screen.

The post How Would You Spend $1000? See What 5 Different Kinds Of People Would Do appeared first on Zikoko!.

Once upon a time, an insane Christian book that claimed the devil created football as a tool to destroy humanity trended on the internet. I did the dirty work of actually reading and recapping it. The article was so popular that I’ve now decided to make my recaps into a weekly series named “So You Don’t Have To“, where I find books just as batshit as that one and recap them for your pleasure.

Today’s book is titled “Brother Chijioke’s 150 Years In The Kingdom of Darkness.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The author is a 17-year-old Igbo boy named Chijioke Onughu. Back in 2016, Chijioke decided to face off with Hannah from 13 Reasons Why to see who could make the most fire mixtapes by recording a long as hell confession about how he served as Lucifer’s right-hand man in hell for 150 years and spent all that time destroying churches. When asked why he was only physically 17 years old, he said it’s because he existed in the kingdom of darkness as a fallen angel before deciding to be born as a human.

Chijioke goes on to contradict his own origin story later on by saying that his mother actually caused his connection to the kingdom by dedicating him to their village goddess when he was still a foetus.

WHICH IS IT?!

MOVING UP THE CORPORATE LADDER OF DARKNESS

Chijioke says his village goddess helped him become super influential in the spirit world. He served her until he graduated to another dark kingdom named the Bama Kingdom. (Like the mayonnaise brand??) In Bama, he was noticed by Lucifer himself for being such a hard worker and got promoted to the highest rank in the spiritual realm (level 888). With this promotion came the power to control local and international demons. He also claims that Lucifer gave him the personal nickname, Hindus and Qeendus.

THE DAMAGE HE DID AS LUCIFER’S RIGHT-HAND MAN

According to Bro Chijioke, level 888’s raison d’être is to destroy Bible-believing churches around the world. And the way Chijioke describes this brings to mind scenes of worshippers doing their thing peacefully only for him and his fellow level 888 agents to burst out of the ground, earth-bender style, wrecking buildings and burying people beneath the rubble.

I was mad disappointed to find out that their job was nowhere near as cool as this. All they did was infiltrate churches and slowly introduce them to sin. However, the one church they had major problems infiltrating was the one that makes all its members dress like a flash mob that’s always ready to break into a choreographed dance number featuring traffic-controlling-style moves.

The Lord’s Chosen.

After multiple failed attempts to sneak into an Imo state branch and wreak havoc, he managed to get the attention of the head pastor of The Lord’s Chosen, Imo State. The day before he was supposed to meet the pastor, Chijioke claimed to have done this:

I can’t be the only one that expected to see The Black Lagoon.

During Chijioke’s showdown with the Imo state Lord’s Chosen pastor, his newly acquired powers failed him. All the demons he called on for help couldn’t come close due to a holy force field or some shit. It was at this moment – alone and abandoned behind enemy lines – that Chijioke decided to confess and be delivered.

EVERYTHING HE SNITCHED ABOUT

I’mma put the rest of this tea into bullet points because shit is hot…and a lot:

• The kingdom of darkness has a sweatshop (I can only assume is full of hell minorities) that makes demonic clothes and accessories.

• If you wore anything called Azonto shoes in 2015, you’re going to hell because it was a product of the kingdom of darkness’ sweatshop.

• Lazarus Muoka is the most powerful person on the planet. To the kingdom of darkness, he’s like the human version of One-Punch Man. Which is funny because they both look alike.

• There is a realm called Second Heaven that’s full of muscular demons. It’s led by the Queen of Heaven who, judging by this one image of her, looks like an anime fairy in a cheap princess dress. According to Bro Chikioke, she always flies around with her coffin and once tried to strike Lazarus Muoka with paralysis. It backfired and she ran.

• Hair attachment, wool, thread etc are tiny snake demons named serpentine by a demon named Utachiginle. Any woman who uses these things on her head is in the FINAL and INTERNATIONAL stage of bondage.

• If you think the men were spared, think again! Hell’s sweatshop made jeans and chinos trousers for men tagged X-FASHION and OXFORD. Wearing these brands means you’ve sold your soul to the BERMUDA TRIANGLE who is also THE DEVIL HIMSELF. (I swear this guy is just pulling stuff out of his ass now.)

• Timberland boots are highly demonic because making one pair requires the sacrifice of SEVEN FUCKING BABIES. One from each continent. I wish I was making this up.

• The sweatshop makes these specific type of high-heeled shoes. When worn by any woman, she ignorantly climbs on top of fornication.

• The phone, Y2 (brand: unspecified), took 36 human lives to make for some reason. Apparently, this phone is online that if you try hard enough, you can chat with the Queen of Heaven herself. Happened to some guy in 2016 according to this fucking book.

The book ends with the most horrifying warning of all. Bro Chijioke apologizes for the millions of lives he destroyed when he was part of discount MI6 from hell. He then says this:

Well, what brand??

WHAT BRAND IS IT, CHIJIOKE?!

The post This Guy Claims To Have Served Satan For 137 Years BEFORE HE WAS BORN appeared first on Zikoko!.

There’s so much new music being released that it’s hard for even the most loyal fans to wade through the trash to find the gems. That’s why we’ve created #BumpThis – a daily series that features new songs, by and featuring Nigerians, that you absolutely need to hear.

Wani — “No Love” ft. Prettyboy DO

It’s been nearly a year since we got new music from the talented Wani. His memorable feature on Odunsi’s “Better Days” got fans hungry for more, and he’s finally come through with two new singles, “Fast Life” and “No Love”, with the latter being the standout.

Featuring the always great Prettyboy DO, “No Love” finds both stars calling out fake friends and the people who didn’t fuck with them until they found success. While songs about haters have certainly been overdone, they are rarely ever this good.

Reekado Banks — “Put In Pressure”

Reekado Banks, one of afropop’s most consistent stars, already dropped a 2019 highlight, “Rora”. Now, with the year just a month away from coming to an end, he’s very graciously followed it up with another infectious banger, “Put In Pressure”.

Produced by Kel P — the genius behind Burna Boy’s Grammy-nominated album, African Giant — “Put In Pressure” is all about sex. On the track, Reekado sings about a lover who is pushing him to bring his A-game in the bedroom. Well, he clearly took that prompt into the studio as well.

The post #BumpThis: Reekado Banks’ “Put In Pressure” & Wani’s “No Love” appeared first on Zikoko!.

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old man who had only ever had sex with women until last month. After unexpectedly making out with a guy at a party, he had his bisexual awakening, and now he feels like he just hit reset on his life. 

When did you have sex for the first time?

I was about 13 or 14. It actually happened with a prostitute.

Sorry. What?

Yeah. I went to an all-boys catholic school and my friend took me to a caban (a brothel). This was around 2005 or 2006, and it cost me N500. I remember when we got there, the lady I ended up having sex with was eating eba. My friend spoke to the person in charge, and he organised the whole thing. The prostitute was super impatient. She just wanted me to finish and be going.

Wait. If you were no more than 14 at the time, wasn’t this like statutory rape?

What’s their business? I’m sure the students in my school were their biggest customers — our building was right behind theirs. At the time I went, they weren’t very popular in the school, but later we just started hearing that boys were flocking there. It gave everyone who went serious street cred.

When did you first have sex with someone who wasn’t a prostitute? 

I think I was maybe 17 or 18. Between that time and losing my virginity, I only made out and got head from like two people. I remember almost trying anal sex at some point, but I couldn’t find the asshole. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure out where the asshole is. 

LMAO. I’m not even going to touch that. So, how often do you have sex now?

Before last month, the last time I actually had sex was 2016. It was with a prostitute and it was horrible. I only did it because it had been a minute. But that’s when I knew I was done with transactional sex. It just didn’t do anything for me, and I could barely maintain my erection.

The thing is, I never used to feel like I was good enough. So whenever I fell in love with or was drawn to a woman, I never had the courage to do anything about it. Out of the 11 women I’ve had sex with, I never really had any strong emotional ties to any of them. Being with them was easy because I knew I wasn’t at risk of getting my heart broken. 

Fair. You said, “before last month”.  What happened last month?

Yeah. So, I went to a house party. It was hosted by a gay friend of mine. My actual intention was just to breeze through and show face. My friend was mad because I hadn’t visited him in a while. 

So, imagine me just trying to perform my friendly obligation and the next thing I know, I’m holding hands with a guy I’d just met, feeling many, many things all at once.

OH? How did that happen?

So, I entered the party, we made eye contact, and then we casually said hi to each other. He was talking with my friend, the one hosting the party. I remember thinking, “I’ll go talk to him after.”

The stranger? Why did you want to talk to him?

Now that I think about it, that was probably me being interested in him. At the time, however, my intentions were completely innocent. I was just thinking we’d have a nice chat and I’d make a new friend. 

But now, I guess there was obviously an underlayer of attraction. I mean, why did I want to speak to him? It was because I saw his fine face. That’s why when it all went down, it was very easy.

What exactly went down?

I was smoking a cigarette and he asked for it. Then I tried to give it to him, but he didn’t take it from me. He just took my hand to his mouth and smoked. I thought that was REALLY interesting. 

Then I went to sit beside him. This is the point where the rest of the night becomes a bit of a blur. I still don’t know how my hand slipped into his, but it just sort of happened. I don’t think I initiated it though. I was really just following his lead.

So, the hand-holding was happening for a bit — I really, really like holding hands — and then he kissed my neck. In my mind, I was like, “Oh? So, you’re kissing a boy tonight?” Honestly, I still hadn’t even considered it as a possibility up until that point. 

Lmao. Wow. You were really not reading the signs. 

Clearly not. Anyway, I turned to him and he kissed me on the lips. I must have really liked it because anytime somebody looked away, I would bring my face to his and we’d sneak a kiss. 

Eventually, I suggested that we go look for water in the kitchen. This was really just an excuse for us to have enough privacy to kiss properly. It was at this moment that I really got fucked up. 

He would kiss me, take a step back, look at me and say stuff like “You’re so handsome”. For the first time in a really long time, I felt truly seen. 

Did you guys only kiss?

No. We moved it to the bathroom and jerked each other off. I remember when we were making out, it was so intense that I suddenly felt the urge to tell this complete stranger that I loved him.  I figured it was just a fluke that came in the heat of passion, but for the next couple of days, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.  

Hian. How did it escalate to that point?

I think I’m the one that fucked up. After we finished in the bathroom, I should have just let it end there, but I still wanted to hold his hand and shit. I didn’t want him to feel like I only wanted to hook up and bounce. In retrospect, I think he would have probably preferred that. 

I was even holding his hand when I was driving him home, which is really hard to do. I was struggling to turn the steering wheel, while I was holding his hand and kissing it. Looking back, I know I shouldn’t have done all that. 

So, how did you process what was happening?

I had an existential crisis, but it wasn’t the kind you’d expect after something like this. I wasn’t freaking out about the fact that I’d just hooked up with a boy; everything in my head was about my supposed feelings for him. I wasn’t even worried about what all this meant about my sexuality, I was just super focused on him. 

That sounds intense.

Yeah. He was the face of everything that was happening to me at that moment. Instead of me to settle down and deal with this new revelation about myself, I was too busy focusing on him and what I thought was love.

Did you reach out to him when all this was happening?

Yeah. It happened on Friday. I didn’t reach out on Saturday because I was trying to be strong. By Sunday evening, I couldn’t form any longer. I just gave in and texted him. 

Then what?

In all honesty, this is where I started acting crazy. He didn’t actually do anything wrong. I was just expecting an insane amount of consistency from this total stranger. But in my head, I felt like I knew him. I mean, he was all I was thinking about that time. Maybe if I had just calmed down, we’d still be talking now. 

You guys aren’t talking anymore? Why?

He wasn’t matching my energy, so I unfollowed him on Instagram. Then when he noticed, he blocked me. I tried to reach out later, but I guess he was done with my shit. Thankfully, I no longer feel anything that all-consuming for him. That has been replaced with a fondness because he was my first. 

Have you hooked up with other guys since then?

Yeah. I had sex with a guy not too long after that. It was a friend. We went out for drinks, talked for a bit in my car, and I ended up at his place. It wasn’t actually the plan when I decided to go out that night, but I really liked it. Now, I feel seasoned. 

So, how would you label yourself now?

It’s all so new to me. Even though I don’t really believe in labels, I understand that they matter. So, if I had to label myself, I’d call myself a very powerful bisexual. 

LMAO. Love it. Now that you’ve had this realisation, do you think there’s a possibility you were ever repressing this part of yourself?

Well, probably. As I said, I went to an all-boys catholic school and there is nothing they hated more than homosexuality. I still have the voice of our administrator, who was a priest, echoing in my head. He always got heated when discussing this topic. So, with all that messaging, I probably repressed it subconsciously. 

There were actually a few times in secondary school that I woke up to find a boy giving me head. I was a horny kid and it felt nice, so I never actually made an effort to stop them. In my mind, since I wasn’t the one who initiated it, it wasn’t a reflection of my sexuality.

How did it make you feel though?

I mean, I definitely used to have moments of guilt about enjoying it, especially with how intensely they preached against stuff like that. 

You don’t consider any of those experiences your first time with a guy?

Pretending to be asleep while someone gives you head is not personal. You’re not really involved. With the guy at the party, it was my choice. I wasn’t intoxicated or anything. I simply wanted to kiss him.

That makes sense. So, what’s next for you considering your newfound sexuality?

I don’t mind the idea of belonging to the streets.

What the hell does that mean?

Lmao. Giving it to anyone who is willing to take. But seriously, I’m not making any conscious effort to hook up with anybody. The only person I can even hook up with now if I get horny is a babe — she’s been a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have any guys in my view, and I don’t know about hitting on one.

You don’t know how to or you don’t want to?

Honestly, I don’t want to. Men are assholes. I don’t have their energy. I mean, I probably will eventually, but not now.

Fair. Have you told the people in your life about all this?

Only one really close friend. Also told some other relatively new friends that I met on social media. Sometimes it’s easier to be open with people you don’t really know because their expectations of you aren’t set in stone. With old friends, telling them something so life-changing feels like a lot.

You don’t think you’ll ever tell them?

I would really like to. I mean, if I spend the entire year living my life as a powerful bisexual, are you telling me no one will know about my impact? Nah. I wouldn’t like that. 

LMAO. What about women you’ll date moving forward, will you let them know?

I honestly don’t know. Nigerian women can be very biphobic. Maybe if it’s one of those babes that are always dropping woke threads on Twitter, then yes. 

How would you rate your sex life?

I don’t think I have a sex life at the moment. Before last month, I wasn’t feeling or doing shit. I even started wondering if I was asexual. But now, I do feel like I’m starting again, so I’d say a zero. Maybe ask me this question again in a year. 

The post Sex Life: Awakening My Bisexuality At 27 appeared first on Zikoko!.

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky.

Take it to find out:

The post QUIZ: When Will You Have Sex Next? appeared first on Zikoko!.

Some of the best Super Eagles players ply their trade in the top division of the English Premier League, which is arguably the best football league in the world.

Anyway, take this quiz and find out which one of them you are:

The post Quiz: Which Super Eagles Player In The Premier League Are You? appeared first on Zikoko!.

If you’ve been reading #NairaLife long enough, then you probably know I’m currently on the #JollofRoad, our West Africa road trip. Along the way, I’ve found all kinds of people. And what good is it if I don’t run into people and ask them about their finances?

The guy in this #NairaLife #DalasiLife is 26. He lives in Gambia, one of West Africa’s top tourist destinations. He also happened to be our host in Gambia – he rented out his apartment to us for the weekend.

First thing you did for money? 

It was nine years ago when I was like 17. I sold my bicycle for 1,500 dalasis. 

Must have been a big deal for you. 

Ah yes. My father told me then, “What are you doing with 1,500 dalasi? I pay your school fees, I do everything for you, I give you lunch money, what do you need money for?”

Before we get back to your bicycle, what’s your favourite thing about the Gambia?

Everyone is chilled out. No trouble.

Okay, back to your bicycle. What did you need money for? 

Nothing at the time, I just wanted to have my own money.

Interesting. Did you make any more money at the time? 

That time, my lunch money was about 25 dalasis, but I saved most of it. I’d spend 5 and save 20. 

What can 25 dalasis buy you? 

Back then, two bottles of water, but today, only one bottle. A coke was 8 dalasi, now it’s 18 dalasis. 

When my mum noticed how much I was saving, she said, “Hmmm, this boy wants to do something.” When I’d saved enough, I opened a small shop opposite the house. I started frying omelettes and making coffee, and it was going good. From the shop, I was saving between 2000 and 3000 dalasis every week, depending on how much the business was moving. 

But, when I entered Grade 12 and was about to start preparing for my certificate exams, I gave the shop to my mum.

To run for you? 

Yes, but she took the shop and ate all my money, hahaha. When I was running the shop, I could save up to 6,000 dalasis. I wrote my WAEC certificate exam in 2014, grade 12. I was about 20. 

That was also the year I travelled – the end of that year. 

Ah, interesting. So after your exams – which I believe you wrote in the middle of the year – what were you doing till you travelled? 

I got a job working at a hotel as a masseur. My aunt was a masseuse, so when I finished school, she told me to come work for her at the hotel and trained me.

How much did people pay for massages back then? 

It depends, back massages could go for 500 dalasis. Full body massages: 1500. Reflexology could be 600 to 700 dalasis. I have no idea what they’re paying now, but I’m sure it has increased. My pay was by commission. So every three weeks, she’d give me 25%. My best pay was about 20,000 dalasis. 

That’s a lot of massages. 

Sometimes, I used to give up to three or four massages in a day. A full body massage takes one hour, fifteen minutes. Reflexology takes 45 minutes. Head massage takes 30 minutes. The best thing about that job was that I got to meet a lot of people from all kinds of countries. 

Was that where the hunger to travel came from? 

Nah. I have family in Europe. My grandma is in the US. My mum, brothers, and everyone has travelled. My brother that I live with for example – cousin actually – he’s Norwegian. He wasn’t born there, but he lived there as a kid. 

Interesting. 

But now, he’s back in the Gambia earning good money here. He’s into transportation, and he has a lot of big trucks. He even has a small boat at the beach now to carry people. I have plans to build my own things here. 

We’ll get to that. So, you travelled at the end of 2014?

Yeah, I went to Russia. I was taking part-time jobs in Russia while schooling, most of it was working as a security guard. You know, I’m big. But I wasn’t paying my school fees. My grandma paid for that. Russian universities are cheaper than American universities. My grandma was paying about $2500. I’m studying computer engineering. 

I’m currently in my final year. 

Nice nice. How long have you been back for? 

Beginning of the year – February. I took a few months out of school. Also, I missed my family. From February till May, I was just enjoying, going to the beach, hanging out with some of my friends here. 

But in May, I had to stop. 

Hahaha, your flexing money finished. 

Haha, you knowww. 

How much did you bring back?

A lot. 

Tell me.

A lot. 

Okay, how much did you spend? 

A lot. 

Hahaha, Okay. 

I started thinking of how to finish my own projects – house building projects. I live in my aunty’s house, the one she built. Whenever she comes to the Gambia, she just goes straight to her compound. She has her own business, drives her own car, has a heavy bank account. 

A lot of people abroad are building houses back home. That’s where I saw my opportunity. Sometimes, my friends in Europe will tell me to help them inspect their building projects. I help them inspect, but for a fee. No time. 

I feel you. 

Meanwhile, I have time. But I tell them I have no time, hahaha. I get up to 1,000 dalasis from them on some days. One of my friends is coming soon, and he bought his land for 1.5 million dalasis. He’s building something really massive. 

Land is expensive here? 

Yes, because of the tourists. 

I bought a piece of land too. I sent the money to my friend here when I was in Russia. I even started building. But right now, I’ve paused, because I have to go back to get more money. I have just enough money for my flight ticket now. 

I totally get that. I’m curious. How much is enough for you to live a very very good life in the Gambia per month? 

Probably 100,000 dalasis. Food is cheap here. If you like partying, just go out with 200 dalasis, and you’re good. Rent a small two-bedroom here for like 4500 to 5000 dalasis per month. 

You pay rent here per month? 

Yeah. Most people pay per month, but some people pay per year. 

In Nigeria, it’s the other way round. 

Only per year? Per year is a lot of money. Many people don’t have that much here. 

Many people don’t have that much in Nigeria too. 

Crazy. The only thing some landlords ask for here is a six-month advance when you first move in.

How much do you think you’d be earning after school in the Gambia?

For computer engineers, it’s a lot of money. I really don’t know how much, but once they work for three months, you start seeing them building houses and buying cars. Where is the money coming from? 

Hahaha, what are the next few years looking like for you? 

Well, I know that being in the Gambia is not going to be easy for me. So I need to work hard and make good money in Russia. There, as long as you have all your documents, you can get work easily. I already speak Russian – you have to study the language for one year when you get there. I make good money working part-time as a student. Imagine how much better it will be when I work full time with a degree. 

So, I’ll work, finish my building project. Maybe get married, and come to the Gambia for holidays. 

When I’m away, I can even rent it to tourists. 

The Gambia seems to be getting a lot of tourists every year. 

Yes. Many of them are from Scandinavian countries. The tourism started in Bakau, that crocodile place. That’s why in many places here, apartments are rented out to tourists on a short-let. Lots of them even marry Gambians. 

A quick segue, but do you have any recent financial regrets? 

Ah yes. I sent my uncle money from Russia to invest in a small business here, about $2000 in total. He said he had some business he felt I should invest in. But now, my money is gone, no business too.

Now, I just need him to pay me my money, because I worked hard for it. I really want to go and scatter his house – he’s not even around. He travelled. 

So, imagine him lying to me over the phone, and me thinking sending money back home was going to help my family and even my country. 

My mum said, “Oh leave him, he’s your uncle.”

Nonsense. I want my money. If I’m trying to build my future and you’re stealing from it, you’re not a good person. 

Let’s talk about financial happiness, on a scale of 1-10. 

I don’t know about here in the Gambia, because when I’m here, I worry too much about money. My life is easier when I’m in Russia. So, here, my happiness is lower. But sometimes, I realise how lucky I am. 

By early 2020, I’ll return to school, and I can get back to planning for my future, so I can get money, live better, develop my country.

Check back every Monday at 9 am (WAT) for a peek into the Naira Life of everyday people.
But, if you want to get the next story before everyone else, with extra sauce and ‘deleted scenes’, subscribe below. It only takes a minute.

Every story in this series can be found here.

The post The 26-year Old Gambian Student With European Dreams appeared first on Zikoko!.

Over a week ago, we made a quiz that revealed the kind of people you attract. Now, we’ve made one that determines what exactly these people even find attractive about you in the first place. Is it your stunning face, perfect body or big brain?

Well, this quiz has the answer:

The post QUIZ: What Do People Find Most Attractive About You? appeared first on Zikoko!.