What is ‘Resting Bitch Face’?

So, if you can relate to these pictures, well, welcome to your coming out party.  

1. When all your extreme emotions look identical:

The struggle.

2. When people think you’re a bad belle because this is how you listen to good news:

I’m actually happy for you.

3. You, whenever people ask “what’s wrong?” or “are you ok?”

IT’S JUST MY FACE.

4. How people avoid you because they think you are vexing:

Hay God!

5. When people say they thought you were a snob before talking to you.

EVERYTIME!

6. You, wondering if you’ve missed the love of your life because they were too scared to talk to you.

God forbid!

7. When you can’t walk three steps without one stranger asking “why you dey squeeze face?”

What is there to smile about? Did you dash me money?

8. What you look like when you actually make an effort to smile.

A for effort, biko.

9. When people stop giving you gist halfway because they think you’re uninterested.

Hian! Should I be shining teeth on top amebo?

10. When you talk and people just assume you’re being sarcastic.

Ugh! Stress.

11. When even your mother always thinks you’re being rude.

See me see trouble.

12. How people react when they find out you’re actually nice:

I don’t blame you.

13. How you feel when you finally find a kindred spirit:

Let us frown together.

Co-written by Zikoko contributor, @osaz_

British-Nigerian actor, David Oyelowo, through the GEANCO Foundation has created a scholarship to help girls who are victims of gender inequality and terrorism.

In a press release, he explained that the war against injustice and oppression can only be won by speaking against it and providing lasting solutions to the problem.

Although some of the Nigerian girls who were kidnapped by terrorists have been rescued, David Oyelowo believes so much more can be done to rehabilitate them and help mold them into successful Nigerian women.

According to him, the scholarship will receive financial support from his wife Jessica, American pro-footballer, Warren Moon, and Oprah Winfrey.

Three leadership scholarships will be provided for the 2016/2017 school session and the recipients will be admitted into Anglican Girls Grammar School in Abuja.

Well done, David! We hope the Nigerian government follows in his steps and do what’s necessary.

In March 2016, voices were raised on all social media platforms concerning the kidnap and forced marriage of a teenage girl, Ese Oruru,  by a man named Yinusa Dahiru.

Shortly after the media uproar, Ese was released to her parents but unfortunately, she was already pregnant at the time. Yinusa was however arrested and placed in police custody.

However, after spending 4 months in detention, he was released on bail and was pictured at the airport, on his way to Kano.

Being a vocal and outspoken group of people, Nigerians showed their dismay at this development.

It’s funny how he gets the luxury of an airplane flight in spite of everything.

How can someone accused of such crimes be treated to a hero’s welcome?

Because last time anyone checked, SAN lawyers don’t come cheap.

Will justice for Ese Oruru ever be served?

Releasing rapists and kidnappers on cheap bail isn’t justice.

However, this bail doesn’t mean Yinusa is free of the charges placed on him.

Although Sahara Reporters stated that the trial has been adjourned to September 13, we hope Ese Oruru’s rape and kidnap doesn’t go unpunished.

1. When you first get admission into university.

Watch out for me.

2. But your WAEC results are not out yet, so you have to go without them.

We dey wait.

3. When people who already have their results are talking.

I don’t blame you.

4. When all the lecturers keep saying how your name isn’t written in biro because you’ve not matriculated.

But you don’t even have result yet.

5. When you hear that result is out.

Jeso Kreste!

6. When you see people starting to pack their stuff to leave the school.

HAY GOD!

7. When you’ve not even seen your own result but someone is complaining about getting a credit.

Will you shut up!

8. You, about to check your result.

God please…

9. When one of your compulsory courses is outstanding.

Why me?!

10. When someone asks “What did you get in Maths?”

What’s ya business?

11. When you hear that you can combine results.

Thank you, Lord!

12. When you fail one subject in WAEC but now you’re hoping to pass it in NECO.

I shall not be sent home.

13. When you see all the non-awaiting result students just enjoying themselves.

Congrats.

14. When your lecturer starts suggesting ‘change of course’.

Not today, Satan.

15. When your results are finally complete and you can matriculate.

Finally!

1. When a senior wants to punish you some minutes to dining time.

Don’t let the devil use you.

2. When your provisions have finished and you hear dining bell.

Can’t come and carry last.

3. When you can see them about to close the dining hall door.

God forbid.

4. When someone tries to jump the line to collect food.

Please just respect yourself.

5. When the dining hall prefect asks “who wants extra plantain?”

See question oh!

6. You, watching two seniors fight in the dining hall.

Are you not entertained?

7. How the dining hall looks when the food is jollof rice and chicken:

Who no like better thing?

8. When you get to the hall 5 minutes late and you hear food has finished.

Are you people animals?

9. The hall, when a senior declares “MASSACRE”:

Every man for himself.

10. How you eat when your guy gets chosen to be dining hall prefect:

WINNING!

11. When they take light in the hall and everyone starts shouting.

Are you people not Nigerians again?

12. When you’re hungry and that wicked senior tells you to bring your food.

Is it fair?

13. When someone brings milk to the hall on pap and akara day.

Our hero.

14. When the dining hall prefect calls for extra food.

We hail oh!

15. When they are serving beans and all the girls are forming.

Starve oh!

16. When you’re still eating and you hear “LEAVE THE DINING HALL”

EXCUZ MI?

Well, in Ethiopia, the most embarrassing exam leak happened when questions to an end-of-year exam which was to be taken by 254,000 university students leaked all over the internet in May.

And like typical Nigerian parents, the Ethiopian government blocked all the popular social media sites for few days, as per the students like pressing their phones too much.

Na wa o! Instead of them to tackle the exam malpractice problem directly.

Technology didn’t kuku stop people from cheating in exams before Twitter and Instagram were created.

But sha, can you imagine the Nigerian government taking this sort of ‘disciplinary action’ on its citizens? Very possible, right?

Nigerian students when they see leaked questions on the internet…

However, Ethiopians aren’t keeping quiet, the ones who currently have access to social media outside the country have condemned this action.

But the people that leaked the questions didn’t try sha. Let’s hope the Ethiopian government properly gets to the root of the problem.

1. When they insult you at home but defend you in public.

So strange.

2. When they say “we are only beating you because we love you.”

I don’t understand this love oh.

3. When they call you to come and eat right after beating you.

They have already forgiven you.

4. When they allow you to go and take extra meat.

THE BEST!

5. When they still give you offering money even as an adult.

You are still a child to them.

6. When they always find a way to bring home food from owambes for you.

You must eat what they ate.

7. When your relatives try to report you to your parents and they give them:

Just once in a while, but it’s so sweet.

8. When they spend an eternity praying for you whenever you’re about to travel.

They must pray for journey mercies first.

9. When they buy you a phone that is more expensive than their own.

They got you smartphone and they are still using 3310.

10. When your sibling chooks mouth when they are scolding you and they turn and face them.

They are lowkey defending you.

11. When they start trying to play with you right after punishing you.

I don’t like this play.

12. When they make you stay home in the name of keeping you safe.

The worst.

13. When you misbehave but your mother doesn’t report you to your father.

The biggest act of kindness.

14. When you call your father to ‘greet him’ and he just asks:

Daddy, you sabi abeg.

Every year since 2014, the Center For World University Rankings (CWUR) compiles a list of the top 1000 universities in the world.

It’s however unfortunate to note that not even one Nigerian university made the list.

In fact, there has never been a Nigerian university on the CWUR ranking since 2014.

In spite of this, Uganda, Egypt and South Africa were the only African countries on the list.

The CWUR based this ranking on 8 factors including: quality of education, alumni employment, quality of faculty, influence, citations, publications, broad impact and patent.

This means an average Nigerian university does not meet any of these standards and cannot even match up to any of these international universities.

Looking at the alumni factor, after doing so much wahala to even get a degree in Nigeria, there are no jobs available for the graduates.

The extent of the failing education sector comes to light every other day and must be addressed!

For Nigeria to move forward and progress, the system responsible for grooming and producing citizens that will enforce this change has to be fixed.

You can check the full list here.

1. You, in front of your TV every Sunday by 7pm like:

No time.

2. When you heard The Voice ‘NIGERIA’ is being held in South Africa.

HOW?

3. When a contestant tries to add a ‘Nigerian twist’ to a song and goes off key.

Who sent you message?

4. Babes, whenever Chike starts performing:

Bodies are always ready.

5. Everyone, impatiently waiting for Cornel to come and perform:

Where is our Oga?

6. Your face, whenever Timi Dakolo stands up to talk.

Baba you’re not class captain.

7. Waje’s deafult face whenever a contestant is performing:

Can never tell if she is enjoying it or not.

8. When Tuface hasn’t said “I’m short of words” in 5 minutes.

ALL THE TIME.

9. Your face, whenever Timi Dakolo saves Vicky:

Is this guy serious?

10. When the backup singers are singing better than the contestant they are ‘backing up’.

Na wa.

11. When the backup singers that just sounded great suddenly start singing like they are owing them salary.

Are you beefing this contestant? Sing out na.

12. You, wondering where the contestants stylist learnt work.

Why is Armstrong wearing a fur coat, biko?

13. When the contestant sings nonsense and the judges still praise them.

Did we hear the same thing?

14. The Voice Nigeria contestants and singing R Kelly:

Every episode sha.

15. You, when a contestant picks a Sia or Adele song:

You no fear?

16. When a contestant you never noticed just comes and slays their performance.

Where did this one come from?

17. How you react when the viewers save the wrong person:

Hay God!

If I start talking about my catcall story and how much I’ve suffered in the hands of Lagos men, you wouldn’t believe it.

When I moved to Lagos as a slaying hijabi, I just assumed people would have sense in Lagos.. I was wrong.

One evening, I was jejely going home after a typical stressful Lagos day…

I was trying to board a keke when some annoying boys started whistling at me like…

I never hexperred it, my reaction was just:

When their wahala started getting too much, I quickly went to take the fastest Okada to my house.

We got to a traffic light and that’s how one small conductor boy started winking at me like…

See my life, is this one mad?

To God be the glory, I got to Yaba busstop safely after raining curses on the conductor. But it didn’t end there…

The traders at Yaba were waiting there like…

But as a sharp girl, I tried to form street…

But my bad guy face didn’t move boys, one of them tried to grab my waist like…

The first thing I said was…

Instead of him to leave me alone, he started calling me bend-bend leg…

On top my own body again…

He insulted me till I walked out of the street…

Some of these Lagos men don’t have sense sha. Please go and find your home training!

1. This one where the bride was basically flying up and down.

Because sitting down is too much stress.

2. This couple that doesn’t understand why there are locks on toilet doors.

Na wa!

3. This couple that decided this calabash was too heavy for one of them to carry.

They found love by the riverside.

4. These ones that were doing bad things in the corner.

See how people are looking at them.

5. This groom that was doing yoga in the air.

As per yoga master.

6. This couple that were the only black people in their own shoot.

What’s happening here?

7. These ones that were doing shakara in the village.

See wahala.

8. These ones that staged a kidnap scene.

On top wedding again?

9. This I-must-be-Sango-by-force groom.

So extra!

10. These ones that kuku went all the way underwater to take their own pictures.

As per dry land is not fine enough for them.

11. These ones that were just unserious.

They need that red card in real life.

12. This couple kuku went to shoot a music video.

As per they’re no longer anybody’s mates.

1. When you need to enter danfo but you only have 1k.

As per #RichGang.

2. How you hustle to enter the first bus that stops:

Will you now sleep there because of 1k?

3. You, when the conductor says “enter with your change”.

Selective deafness, abeg.

4. What you ask all the passengers immediately you sit down:

You’re sha making effort.

5. When you’re done asking and nobody in the bus has change.

You cannot come and go and die.

6. When you finally give the conductor the 1k and he starts making noise.

Why are you now shouting, biko?

7. How you balance when you know it’s too late for him to throw you out:

You’ll be fine bruh.

8. How everyone on the bus hustles to collect their change first:

You people should calm down na.

9. You, looking at the conductor because your own hasn’t reached you:

He thinks you will forget, abi?

10. When you want to vex then you remember you’re the one that entered with 1k.

Who sent you message sef?

11. When your energy finishes and you stop shouting for your change every 5 minutes.

Na where you mess up.

12. When you finally reach your bus stop and the conductor carries face like:

You forgot to ask him, and he ‘forgot’ to remind you.

13. When you walk small and suddenly remember your change.

Chineke!

14. You, painfully watching the danfo zoom off:

You’re there wondering if you can chase it.

15. You, calculating everything you could have done with that money:

You see your life.

Nigeria’s military regime wasn’t perfect and was met with resistance from outspoken Nigerians such as Fela, Gani Fawehinmi and Ken Saro-Wiwa.

Being the radical that he was, Fela threw heavy shade at the Nigerian military in his 1977 song, Zombie, where he compared the soldiers to mindless Zombies.

In the light of the recent protests against police brutality in the US, American rapper, Jay-Z, compiled a list of songs that addressed social injustices in a selection he titled, Songs For Survival.

And because Fela’s legendary status and his Zombie song will be forever relevant, Jay-Z added this great song to the collection which is available for download on Tidal.

You can listen to Fela’s Zombie here.

You can also listen to Songs Of survival via Tidal here.

1. The Nigerian provisions starter pack:

If you don’t have all these, you’ve not started.

2. The official padlock for stingy students:

via @YINGY_FLEMMMING

The worst people.

3. When you’re with your Nasco and you see someone chowing Kelloggs.

Please be going.

4. You, the first time they jacked your locker and stole your provisions:

Just leave me to die here.

5. When you beg your guys for provisions and they say they haven’t launched it yet.

Is this one mad?

6. When you’re the only one in your dorm that got provisions on visiting day.

As a bad guy.

7. When seniors see you entering the hostel with provisions.

It’s all over.

8. When a senior gives you bowl to go and fill with milk.

God, why me?

9. When you get back from class and catch someone trying to jack your locker.

You don enter am today.

10. When you open your provisions and people with spoons start appearing like:

Who are these ones?

11. When you’re the only one in your room left with provisions.

Oya beg me.

12. When they steal provisions from the stingiest person in your room.

God is good.

13. How you look at people that take their unopened provisions back home:

Na wa for una.

So many things keep people up at night, like why Jollof Rice feels incomplete without chicken. Or how Pizza is just bread and stew that studied abroad. Anyway sha, Twitter user, @Kristin_obute was kind enough to tell the hilarious story of Jollof Rice’s love life and how Fried Rice joined the cool kids of Nigerian food.

If i was Jollof rice i would be curving bare guys in the food chain uno

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

New DM from Yam: want to hang out?

Jollof: Nigga please where do you see people having Yam with Jollof — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Be out there dating one fine laiiskeen plantain doing twitter couple

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Moi moi would be that nigga that wants to date me but he’s 5’4 so we besties

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Fried rice is that friend that knows she’s prettier than me but doesn’t understand the hype around me..lowkey likes plantain…

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

I would be turning up in all the big parties n events..niggas know its goan be live if I’m there..but i dont club cos good girl uno

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Coleslaw/Salad giving me by the side uno..all that cream..making me glow lowkey… my account balance popping too cos they loaded

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Eba would be awon haters..always at parties with me but most people pick me first..think i want their man..but Jollof n Egusi..ewww please

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Friends with Agidi cos she dating my bestie Moi moi..Eba n her Amala crew hating on us cos Agidi is IJGB of Swallow Squad..

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

They lowkey think we tweet bout them but its just RTs from FatTwitter Slander uno

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Fried rice claims she’s my besties..always photobombing my selfies.. post on IG #Besties#MixedRice but still gossips to White rice bout me

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

White rice doesn’t like anyone of us but somehow gets involved in all our drama…she’s the keep me anon that tells SDM bout our gist

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Now everyone knows Plantain gave Fried Rice at Socialiga and Salad paid for my Tw.wig tab Eba n co have alot to tweet..Moi moi in my dms

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Moi moi talmbout gimme a chance.. but he’s 5’4 and I’m Jollof… plus Agidi is my guy..so I’m posting snaps with him but curving his ass

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Plantain replying my snaps like “Wyd thought y’all just friends” “it was just once uno” “i dont even like that bitch” “u aint all that uno”

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Yam dropping subs like “date a good man” like fam aint nobody want your rachy ass.. Beans said shes been itchy since yall dated..check ursef

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Beans in my dms like “sorry babe” but i know shes tryna find out if i would go with her ex Yam..likes his dumbass even if he gave her STI

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

I dont know why shes hanging with dead guys uno she could be with a guy like Plantain but she doesnt think shes that buff..and hes proud AF

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Akara is just Faving n laughing…Anon Twitter… everyone knows you are giving Pap yo.. but forming long distance with Custard but ☕

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Custard is sending you all those pretty shoes and bags you use as your Avi… we really dont care uno.. keep my name outta ur tweets

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Moi moi DMs (been a while spoke): sorry about my sister (Akara) me: Don curr

Moi moi: ur ex just left..i think he’s dating Beans but lowks — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

I saw that shii coming uno..but I’m petty so i send “Hey Big Head” to Plantain just to Fuvk shit up a bit….

Plantain: You alright babe? — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

*Airs Dm*

Tweets:Weekend Goan be live with my goons *puts old picture of me and beans* we aint even that close..but i know he would see it — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Beans replies: “Yass gurll turn up”

Me thinking Fam I’m setting ur ass up.. Tweets: *4 missed call* Plantain Text: U coming Sat?.. P. — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Replies Plantain: Not sure..you?

Plantain: Yeah.. we should talk Airs text.. stress *Ice retweeted your tweet* — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Ice Dms:Coming Sat? goan be live..Cookies bringing some dope shii..bring ur girls..Free drinks for y’all, help me RT my Pinned tweet

Me:Aii — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Small Chops: Sat? Who’s coming? Beef: Yayy *shares tweet with gizzard* That babe on ur mans TL yo Gizzard: fucking hoe kmt

*Gizzard faves* — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Gizzard shares screenshot* Small chops: why u faving tweets tho Gizzard: you know why Small chops: nothing happened

Group chat: Me:☕ Egg: — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Pizza: thats what they all say next thing they are giving your bestfriend in Socialiga

Egg: Me: still sore fam — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Gizzard: Savage Dead Pizza: btw he’s dating ur short bestfriends ugly sister..deadass hiding her ugly ass Me: be nice Egg: dying

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Pizza: Egg might be dying cos Yam probabaly gave her some shii uno☕

Me: Wow Gizzard: *Egg has left the group chat* Me: oh shit — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

BBM* Me:Babe howfar? It was a joke na Egg: i really like him Me: we know..Pizza has bad mouth free her jo Egg:only talk to her cos of you

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

*Jollof Added Egg to Group Chat* Me: Ice said i should invite you guys for Saturday Pizza: Ice? The one dating that babe with fake accent?

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Egg: Oshey IJGB..i ‘ve the real init accent Pizza: ode Me:its not fake jo Gizzard: Abeg she’s always trying to copy Coke jor..Fake famzer

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Me: but Coke n ice tho Pizza: Cookkeee n icceeee Egg: those two Gizzard:they are bestfriends Me: Egg:free that side

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Gizzard: Wait?! They are not just bestfriends Me: guyy Pizza: Like you and plantain that year Egg: Gizzard:Fuck you guys..

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Me:lowks Coke n Ice Pizza: Coke n Ice is fucking dope yo!..they need to be a serious thing Egg: Pizza check Icecreams snap Pizza: Why?

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Pizza:GUYYSSS Icecreams in Lag n he got a job in my office..hohoho Me:Wait Dominos? Pizza:No Coldstone Egg:Yooooo Gizzard:

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Pizza:Rarrr I’ve a new topping and it aint cheese Me: you are disgusting Egg:Sav Gizzard: Creamy cheese Me: Guys Pizza: Uno

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Me:Remember that guy i used to collect from when i was with Plantain Egg: the rich guy Pizza:Salad abi Coleslaw whats that his name? Me:

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Gizzard: ehen what happened? Me: he’s with Fish now Pizza:wasnt she dating that IJGB Chips Egg: Me:uno Gizzard:that babe stinks yo bleh

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Egg:so Chips is Singu? Me: Stop Gizzard:i thought you and yam…? Pizza:Hoee!! Go gurlll Me:Guys..Chicken just Dmed me Pizza: Egg: Oho

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Pizza: You guyyss go to Twitter Plaintain n Beans Engaged..Fried Rice Called Beans black and Ugly Me:oh shit

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Twitter Jollof: Black and Ugly but she got the ring uno☕ Amala: lmaoo cc @ Fried rice Fried rice: Nobody called ur black round self here FOH

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Akara: Hoes everywhere smelling TL bleh Custard: Catfish too is talking Bread: @ custard guy delete that Custard: cos you fuvking her now?

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Ewa G: @ bread @ Custard Oh?! Bread: i just think its disrespectful to disrespect women EwaG: Are you fuking her or not?@ bread Me: cc @ egg

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Egg: Somebody that can sleep with anything that moves Bread: But you slept with someone’s fiance Potato: @ plantain Eba: Beans: huh?

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Asun: Big Endorsement coming through Pohnmo: Guyyy GOAT Bole: Epp Suya: New single with Asun we move White Rice Asun: Basic bitches

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Coke: Fall in love with your bestfriend Pizza: you go girl Coke: lool what? Gizzard: *Ice Faved tweet* Malibu: @ coke Word Me:

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Snail: the night is dark..thats how stars are made in your darkest moments

Agidi: this one is always high.. Moi moi: Slow guyy show na — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Jollof: Wedding fleek with bae @ Chicken Chicken: Fried Rice: Damn Gurll what seasoning did you use Jollof: Knorr Cubes Egg: Goals

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Semovita:they will steal this ones new bae again☕

Jollof:i think people make mistakes like your brows u need 2 let it go like your weight — Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Pizza: gurll Egg: Chill are we friends with Fried rice again Gizzard: i think so Me: i miss her Pizza:Yass *Fried rice added 2 groupchat*

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

*The End*

— Small Lee❤ (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016

Shout out to @Kristine_obute. You’re officially crazier than all of us at Zikoko.

Lagos, with its 20 million people, is  slowly becoming one of the world’s biggest megacities and should therefore hold a place in the Sci-Fi world.

That’s what Brooklyn-based Nigerian artist, Olalekan Jeyifous, aimed to achieve with his creative photo series, Shanty Megastructures.

Using a series of 3D visuals, he created a realistic architectural view of Lagos in 2050, with massive tin towers spread across all the popular parts of the city.

According to him, the slums of Lagos are usually left out of developmental projects and are mostly targeted for demolition. By doing this, whatever development that happens in the state mostly favours the rich.

In Shanty Megastructures, he creates an idea where even the famous Makoko canal isn’t left out of the Sci-Fi age.

Although his idea isn’t perfect…

He however partnered with NLE Architects and Zoohaus/Inteligencias Colectivas to create a pollution-free and well-planned Lagos, in a previous project he called Uneven Growth.

More pictures from Olalekan’s project can be viewed here.

Every month, FIFA releases a worldwide ranking of football teams and so far, the Nigerian Super Eagles have not held impressive positions.

Not long after they were placed at the 61st position, the team dropped nine places and are now behind countries such as Uganda and Benin Republic at the 70th position.

In spite of this, African countries such as Algeria, Cote D’Ivoire and Ghana were among the top 40 teams in the world, holding the 32nd, 35th and 36th positions respectively.

Considering how great the Super Eagles were in the past, this ranking shows how poor the team’s performance has been recently.

Something should be done about this because most of these players perform brilliantly in their international teams.

We hope the sports ministry looks into this so the Super Eagles, who once achieved FIFA’s highest ranking and won several trophies, return to their past glory.

1. When mock exams are over

And you thought you did well.

2. Then mock results came out

My God. 20/100.

3. So you realize you cannot do this on your own

Na only me waka come?

4. You, looking for who has sure dubs

I cannot stay at home for one year abeg.

5. When your parents start telling you about having straight A’s

These ones want to kill me.

6. When you hear rumors about dubs being available

Where??? It’s lit!

7. You, with the person that is going to provide the whole class dubs for WAEC and NECO

Our lives are in his hands.

8. You and your squad when the teacher is doing final revision

Who revision don help.

9. And you know there are sure dubs waiting in the hostel that night

Winning.

10. 10PM and you hear the dubs are in the hostel ready to be shared

I cannot come and carry last.

11. Writing every single letter and question mark as someone is reading it out

About to win the award for most A’s.

12. So you stay up studying it

Because, last hope.

13. You, in the exam hall waiting for the paper to start

Let me kill this thing and move to objective.

14. When you hear someone shout “Jesus Christ”

It’s all over.

15. And you don’t see any of the questions in the supposed “sure dubs”

So this is how I become a dropout.

16. When WAEC results finally come out

You don’t even know how to tell yourself, talk less of your parents.

1. How your class is on a regular day at anytime

Everywhere in commotion.

2. How it is when someone shouts “principal is coming”

Because nobody wants to ride okada.

3. Your principal’s motto

They did not care to listen to what happened.

4. Your principal at the PTA meeting about to tell the parents how useless you have all been

The man won’t even code the bad gist at all.

5. When you hear “the principal is calling you in his office”

Jesus Christ. What is it again.

6. That photo in his office of when one white man came to your school

Very proud moment for him.

7. All the students when the principal says the hostel food will get better

Yeah right. And the exchange rate will be N1 to $1 as well.

8. Every principal had a framed photo of himself and his friends at conference

We don’t even understand.

9. What it feels like when your principal is trying to famz the students

This man sef.

10. When inspectors come and your principal is forming “best guy”

Can these people go so we can continue our lives.

11. Your principal and his vice principals on inter-house sports day

Embarrassing the whole school.

12. The unofficial cap of principals

Only God knows when last they washed it.

13. You when you think you have outsmarted your principal

Amoshine!

14. Your principal, when he knows visiting day is coming and he will see your parents

The way he will twist the story.

1. When you get a mail about clearance sales from one of these online stores.

Everything is 40% off. Jesus!

2. When ASOS sends you a mail in this high exchange rate period.

Get away from me, Satan!

3. When you finally open the site and you still cannot afford the items.

Don’t you dare send me any more emails.

4. When you’re knee-deep in window shopping and your browser tab starts looking like this:

via @BoozeBumps

*tears*

5. When you realize that there isn’t really money to buy anything.

Help me, Lord.

6. You, lying to yourself that you really need the product and it’s a good deal.

It’s a good deal. I can’t get it anywhere else. I’m so lucky.

7. When you finally decide to spend your next month’s salary and order something.

It’s just money.

8. When you want to check out and you see the delivery price.

No free delivery?

9. After all the high prices, then you notice there’s no Pay on Delivery option.

I’m not doing again.

10. When they say your item will be delivered in 5 – 7 days but it’s been 8 days.

Thank God it’s Pay on Delivery.

11. What you ordered online vs. what gets delivered.

What is this?!

12. When your item is delivered and it’s in the wrong size.

JESUS!

13. Online shopping sites, when you try to return a damaged item.

It’s mission impossible.