1. When you realise your parents are having a disagreement.

Which kind of wahala is this one now?

2. When your mother comes to report your father to you.

How is this one my business now?

3. When your father comes to report your mother to you.

Oh you too?

4. When they are both shouting over you but you can’t leave because they will now face you.

So I should just stay here and be looking?

5. When either of them try to get you to be on their side, you’re like:

Please don’t involve me in your domestic squabble. Thanks!

6. When they start using style to bribe you for your support.

That’s when both of them know how to give you anything you want!

7. When they are arguing about you or your siblings.

So that is why somebody cannot hear word?

8. You, to the parent that is on your side:

The best parent in the whole world.

9. How you and your siblings have to tiptoe around the house so you don’t collect misplaced anger:

Please oh!

10. When you see either of your parents coming to look for even more support.

I’m not around oh, please!

11. When you try to settle the argument and you end up stressed:

Because you just wanted to help people oh!

12. When they settle their quarrel and then turn on you together.

Wow! Such betrayal!

This is post is brought to you by MAGGI @ 50:

via Maggi

The big idea for the MAGGI 50th anniversary campaign is: Let’s Celebrate. We intend to do this primarily by sending gift boxes containing specially curated ingredients and gifts to women influencers pan Nigeria & beyond for trusting MAGGI in the past years, and in the future ahead. Click the link below to learn more.

Just last September, the World Health Organization removed Nigeria from the list of polio-endemic countries, and what great news that was! But unfortunately, the story has changed. 

WHO’s declaration was especially great because in 2012 Nigeria accounted for MORE THAN HALF of all polio cases worldwide!

The government activated an emergency response in 2012 to eradicate polio.

Imagine our reaction when WHO declared there had been zero cases of the polio virus in Nigeria since July 2014.

Only 49 cases were reported in 2013 down from 102 in 2012.

This week, in an unfortunate turn of events, Minister of Health, Isaac Adewole, confirmed two cases of the virus in Borno State.

Polio has always been prevalent in Northern Nigeria compared to other regions.

Nigeria is the only African country still harbouring the polio virus. In July, Nigeria celebrated 2 years without a new case.

UNICEF says the two new cases mean children across the Lake Chad region are now at particular risk.

Polio mainly affects children under the age of 5.

The new cases found in Borno could very well be as a result of the Nigerian Army’s efforts to liberate Boko Haram captives.

The Nigerian Army has relentlessly invaded Boko Haram hideouts and freed captives.

WHO and other health agencies could not access some parts of Northern Nigeria due to the Boko Haram conflict.

Babies born into conflict are not likely to be vaccinated, increasing the risk of them  getting the virus.

There have been accusations against the government’s treatment of IDPs, although it’s not clear if the new cases are from an IDP camp.

Health facilities are limited and do not serve the millions of IDPs.

Although the government seems to be springing into action quickly to eradicate polio once and for all.

We are hopeful Nigeria and Africa will finally be declared polio-free soon!

A country is declared free if there aren’t new cases for 3 years.

SATIRE! SATIRE! SATIRE!

1. First of all, if you are a woman, marriage is the most important thing in this life (for you)!

Not your education, personal happiness, spiritual life or growth as an individual.

2. As for you Mr man, remember that by marrying any woman, you are doing her a favour.

As a kind and generous man!

3. As a Nigerian man, you cannot say anything if you are struggling financially. Suffer in silence.

Are you not a man? Let the stress kill you.

4. Ladies, even if you have money to help out financially, don’t!

Who said marriage is about partnership? Please it’s not that type of partnership oh!

5. Woman, your husband is more important than anybody, including you.

Yes. Who are you?

6. As a man, you are the most important member of your household.

The king.

7. If you see your husband doing something wrong, keep your opinions and suggestions to yourself.

It’s better like that!

8. As man, even if you know you are doing something wrong just continue.

No defeat, no surrender!

9. Ladies, cooking for your husband and stomach-related activities are what should consume your mind: day and night.

Food. Food. Food.

10. As a man, it’s important you never learn to feed yourself because that is what women are there for.

Yup!

11. If your husband loses weight, even for health reasons people will blame you and what can only be terrible cooking.

Do better ma.

12. If your wife gains too much weight, she is obviously not taking the marriage serious.

See stress.

13. Ladies, don’t have friends oh, they will spoil your marriage.

See them, busybodies.

14. Guys make sure you spend as much free time as possible with your guys, to help you relieve the tension of being in a stressful marriage.

It’s important!

15. If you have problems, a good wife doesn’t tell anyone that can help. Only God.

Remember to pray for one hour sharp! If not it won’t be effective.

16. Once she does anything wrong, make sure you report her to anyone who has ears.

Next time she will not try such!

17. As a married woman, If your in-laws are being wicked to you, enjoy it.

It’s very delicious.

18. A visual representation of what happens when a Nigerian husband sees his in-laws:

See no wahala, hear no wahala, speak to no wahala!

19. Even if you are working, your husband’s contribution to the children is purely financial.

Taking care of them is fully your work.

20. If your wife asks you to watch the children, spend time with them and help them with their homework, simply unlook.

You are not on seat oh!

21. If he cheats on you, as a good Nigerian wife you should be like:

“Honey please I’m sorry that you cheated on me!”

22. When you see your wife smiling with another man.

Such betrayal!

This is the part 2 of our series on haters. You can check the first part here, you’re welcome!

1. This guy that’s flying on the wings of an eagle.

2. Just look at his IJGB pose.

3. Haters will say he’s not the biggest boy in town.

4. This guy is basically chilling at the feet of Jesus.

5. When Adekunle Gold wanted to famz Chrissy Teigen by force.

6. How you pose when you want the world to know you’ve been to the Eiffel Tower.

7. When Rihanna got a new toaster.

8. Because she was having relationship problems with her boyfriend.

9. See how paparazzi were disturbing Keri Hilson and her “face cap” wearing boyfriend on the red carpet.

10. Just look at her interesting photoshoot with The Game.

11. See how they’re looking up to heaven together.

12. When you realise eating beans won’t make you tall.

13. That time Drake had to take a Danfo.

14. When she became a fitfam member.

15. When Adekunle Gold took a creepy shower with KIm K.

Despite being let down severally by the Nigerian Government, especially in the areas of funding, planning and general support, we still believe in the abilities of the athletes representing us. Here are the top stars we think will win big in Rio.

1. Dream Team VI member, Oghenekaro Etebo.

Etebo made us super proud when he scored 4 out of 5 goals in our U-23 game against Japan.

2. Olympic and World Championship medalist, Blessing Okagbare.

Okagbare  will represent us in both track events and long jump.

3. Champion tennis player, Aruna Qadri.

Quadri has set a record as the first African to make it to the Table Tennis Quarter Finals at the Olympics.

4. Odunayo Adekuoroye, freestyle wrestling champion.

She won a gold medal at the 2014 Commonwealth Games, and a bronze at the 2015 World Wrestling Championships.

5. Nigerian-American basketball player, Olaseni ‘Shane’ Lawal.

Shane plays center position for FC Barcelona Lassa, and is a great addition to the Nigerian team for the Men’s Tournament at the Olympics.

6. Track and field athlete, Margaret Bamgbose.

Bamgbose  was the lead for Team Nigeria’s relay race at the World Indoor Championships in Portland this year, and will represent Nigeria in the 400m Women’s Race.

7. American-born athlete, Miles Ukaoma.

He competed in the 2015 World Championships in Beijing and will represent Nigerian in the 400m Men’s Hurdle.

8. Champion sprinter, Gloria Asunmu.

Asunmu represented Nigeria in the 2014  IAAF relays, 2015 World Championships in Beijing and the 2016 African Championships in South Africa. She will represent Nigeria in the Women’s 100m and 4 by 100m relay race.

9. U-23 footballer, Umar Sadiq.

Sadiq who is also a forward for football club A.S Roma, scored Nigeria’s first goal in the game against Japan, and we look forward to all the amazing things this 19-year-old will do in Rio.

10. John Mikel Obi, professional footballer.

Mikel is a regular on the Nigerian national football team, and also a mid-fielder for English football club Chelsea. He is the captain of the Dream Team VI, and so far has led the team to win against Sweden and Japan.

1. When you give her good news:

Her favourite phrase!

2. When the head usher asks her to sit somewhere other than her self-designated church seat:

He will smell pepper after the service!

3. When she sees a choir member with a slightly above the knee skirt:

This church is full of unserious people!

4. When she finishes abusing a church member, she tells them:

Thank you so very much ma!

5. When a junior pastor doesn’t greet her “well”:

“I’m not too sure of that man’s salvation.”

6. When someone disagrees with her during bible study:

Please keep that opinion to yourself!

7. When someone tries to wear a hat bigger than hers to church:

You want to start what you cannot finish abi?

8. How she prays over her after-church small chops:

May the fire of the Holy Spirit consume all the fat!

9. When the church tries to introduce a new way of doing anything:

One question. Why?

10. How her and your mum look at each other when the choir is singing off-key:

It’s obvious these ones are not spirit filled today!

11. When someone asks an annoying question during bible study:

Please why are you here?

12. When the pastor is preaching on gossip.

That one is not her business honestly.

1. When your mother sees you resting and lets you be.

2. When your mother actually gives you a straight answer.

3. When your father gets the remote by himself.

4. When your parents support your non-medical profession.

5. When there’s no ‘African time’ at play.

6. When your parents actually do a chore by themselves.

7. When you don’t have to wash plates.

8. When the oyinbo teacher actually gets your name right.

9. When the girl vomiting in the Nollywood movie just has malaria.

10. When your parents don’t shout at the top of their lungs.

11. When the person you parents call your aunty is actually your aunty.

12. When your parents actually like the person you’re dating.

13. When your parents don’t think your left hand is of the devil.

14. When your parents don’t compare you to your classmate with 2 heads.

This is post is brought to you by MAGGI @ 50:

The big idea for the MAGGI 50th anniversary campaign is: Let’s Celebrate. We intend to do this primarily by sending gift boxes containing specially curated ingredients and gifts to women influencers pan Nigeria & beyond for trusting MAGGI in the past years, and in the future ahead. Click the link below to learn more.

We already told you the 10 guys you meet at every Nigerian wedding. Now here are the ladies!

1. The emotional mother of the bride.

Her baby is leaving her!

2. The “struggling to be happy” mother of the groom.

Because she is just managing this new daughter-in-law they have brought for her.

3. The oversabi bridesmaid.

She will even change to another dress oh! As if it’s her people came for.

4. The aso ebi bella.

She just came to slay!

5. The local champion.

Either the bride or groom’s cousin from the village. She just wants to have some fun!

6. The hopeful “next-in-line”.

She is just wondering when it will be her turn oh!

7. The alternative guest.

She came in an avant garde gele and vintage oleku and after the wedding she is going for a history walk in Lagos Island.

8. The newly married woman.

She is busy dispensing advice even though she has only been married for 2 weeks.

9. The stressed out bridesmaid.

She is tired from picking all the money they sprayed the couple and just wants to go home and sleep.

10. The life of the party.

The one you want to be on your table!

Usain Bolt won his 7th Olympic Gold in Rio, and he did it smiling! The 29-year-old Jamaican won the 100m Gold in Beijing ’08, and London’12, and has secured his title as the fastest man on Earth. We got the best internet reactions for you, you’re very welcome!

Look at this greatness. Soak it in. Now you understand why Usain Bolt broke the internet.

1. That time he took a selfie while running.

2. When your bad luck sets you in a race with Usain Bolt.

3. Just look at the other guys dying on the track.

4. This is how you look at your haters when you see them struggling to get at you.

5. Or how you flee from this whole ‘adulting’ thing.

6. Usain Bolt has won at life in less than 100 seconds.

7. Because of Usain Bolt, it is now very okay to poke nose in other people’s business.

8. Its time for Barry Allen to quit acting ‘The Flash’, because this is the original Flash right here.

9. That time Usain Bolt featured in ‘Scooby-doo’.

10. And we all agree that Usain Bolt is NOT HUMAN! He’s Immortal!

11. Looks like someone found out the reason behind the smile.

12. It appears Usain Bolt’s Mom went to the same training school as African moms.

13. Jamaicans just could not keep calm after that race, and we totally get it.

1. Milly Rock – The dance you have to do on every block.

2. Dabbing – The dance that had ben destroyed by humanity far and wide.

3. Nae-Nae – The cutest dance ever!

4. Jerk – The dance only “I Just Got Back” people were doing.

5. Crank That Soulja Boy – Some of us studied this dance like homework.

6. Azonto – The dance Nigerians stole from Ghanaians and then perfected.

7. Twerking – the dance Yoruba church aunties have been doing since time began.

8. The schmoney dance – Bobby Schmurda’s masterpiece.

9. The stanky leg – The dance that only makes sense if you have none!

10. Galala – The Nigerian two-step.

11. Shakitibobo – Olamide’s contribution to party lovers worldwide!

12. Shoki – The owambe favourite!

13. Makossa – The waist breaking dance.

14. Dutty Wine – Please make sure your wig is secure before attempting this one sha.

15. Lean Back – The laziest dance in the history of mankind!

16. Single Ladies – Beyonce’s lie-lie dance.

17. Alanta – The scariest looking dance in the world.

Ok it’s time to put these dance moves to work! Stand a chance to win N10million from Maltina Dance All by downloading the theme song and uploading a video of yourself dancing to it. Click the video below to learn more.

One of the cabin crew members of Etihad Airways, Alexander George, happened to be in Lagos for a few days in August and he had interesting things to say.

In a post on his now private Instagram page, he stated that he was in Lagos, an interesting destination that’s so dangerous, they can’t leave their hotel.

Really?

Nigerians angrily went into his Instagram page to drag him for making that kind of statement.

But is this type of ignorance really bliss?

Some Nigerians are already planning to boycott Etihad Airways because of the statement their staff made.

Getting escorted doesn’t always spell danger!

Maybe the people at Etihad need to give their staff some home training.

Instead of him to jejely stay in his hotel and face front, he’s doing unnecessary amebo.

It’s not like flight attendants can roam about a country during work, it’s not a vacation abeg!

Every country in the world has locations that are regarded as dangerous spots.

The fact that a country has dangerous spots doesn’t necessarily make the entire country unsafe. We’re in 2016, people need to stop being ignorant abeg!

That said, Nigerians need to acknowledge the problems going on in the country rather than being defensive whenever someone from outside points them out.

1. The common entrance book of life:

Ugo C. Ugo for the win.

2. When your school forces everyone to do mock exams to prepare.

Don’t add to my stress.

3. When your parents force you to attend one local common entrance lesson:

What is all this?

4. When you ask your parents for a new math set and they start asking you JAMB questions.

“What about the one we bought for you 4 years ago?”

5. How you look at Primary 4 students that want to follow you and do common entrance too:

Wait your turn biko.

6. You, jacking the Friday before your common entrance like:

Secondary school is my portion.

7. How you see the maths and quantitative common entrance questions:

Wetin be dis?

8. You, waking up on the Saturday of common entrance like:

The day has arrived.

9. You, looking for your friends when you get to your common entrance centre:

Where are my people?

10. How you stroll into your centre with 12 extra pencils and 10 biros:

My body is ready.

11. When you see them repeat questions you crammed in your Ugo C. Ugo.

WINNING!

12. You, when the invigilator starts dictating answers for some of the students.

Ah! Is it like that?

13. You, waiting for your parents to come and pick you from the centre when it’s over:

I want to go oh.

14. When your result finally comes out and you passed the cut-off mark.

YES LORD!

15. Your face, when you remember you still have interviews to do:

Hay God! It’s not over.

1. When you first realise what a library is.

Free books? LOOK AT GOD.

2. When your parents are disturbing you about things like chores when there are books to read.

Leave someone alone ah!

3. The best place to read without disturbance.

Once people think you’re on the toilet they can’t rush you.

4. When people cancel plans and you can continue reading your current book.

Please keep cancelling!

5. When your favourite author releases a new book.

YASSS!!

6. When you find a new author that you enjoy.

Nice one!

7. You, spending money on anything else vs. you spending money on books.

Make it rain!!!

8. When someone buys you books as a gift.

Best person on the planet!

9. When someone borrows some of your books and refuses to return them.

Are you serious?

10. When you hear a movie adaptation of a book you like is coming out!

Let others also witness the greatness!

11. When the movie adaptation is rubbish.

This is why people don’t deserve good things.

12. When someone says they don’t like reading.

Are you normal?

1. You, devising new tactics to catch your prey.

Have to be prepared.

2. When you finally meet a light-skinned Igbo babe that is stronger than you.

This one has passed me.

3. When your girlfriend catches you in bed with her sister so you vex till she apologizes for coming home too early.

Next time call before you come home.

4. When you see your girlfriend you’ve cheated on 70 times shaking her male co-worker’s hand.

These women ain’t loyal.

5. When your girlfriend is bringing up marriage after just 7 years, so you dump her.

Impatient woman.

6. When you see your ex being happy and fulfilled without you in her life.

See me see trouble.

7. When your girlfriend accuses you of cheating but you’ve been faithful for 2 whole days.

With all my effort?

8. When you realize you have finally fallen in love.

Hay God!

9. When you see a babe you like and she is telling you she is married like that one is your business.

Is that what I asked you?

10. How you use N200 credit to call the 27 women in your life:

As a professional.

11. You, trying to deceive all your side chicks that your heart belongs to them.

Only you baby.

12. When you hear one of your 26 side chicks is leaving you to get married.

The pain.

1. How she walks into the service:

She has arrived!

2. The type of hats she wears to church:

The bigger the better.

3. How she and the head of the women’s group looks at the choir when they sound off:

Can you imagine?

4. When she says “can I have a few more minutes?”

You’re going to be there for like one hour.

5. How she looks on the days she is coming to address the “youth”:

Funky mama!

6. How she answers when you greet her:

Okay oh!

7. The look she gives you when you walk past her without greeting:

Don’t you value your life?

8. Her reaction to everything:

As a holy mama!

9. When the pastor cracks a joke, she’s like:

If nobody will laugh for her husband, she will laugh.

10. When she agrees with a point the preacher has made.

“That’s a real word right there.”

11. How she catches the Holy Spirit!

Hallelujah!

13. When she sees something she doesn’t like.

Jesus is the master key.

14. How your parents greet her even though they are older:

“Ah mummy good morning!”

15. How she drops the microphone when the ushers are wasting time and she’s ready to leave the stage:

Mama waits for no one!

16. How she and her association of scary church aunties roll through:

She did not come to play with you heathens. She came to pray!

The fact that black people are amazing in every aspect of life that exists isn’t news. During the ongoing Rio Olympics, several black athletes have slayed so hard, these hashtags come to mind: #BlackGirlMagic  #BlackMagic #BlackIsMagic #BlackPeopleSlay!

1. Simone ‘Superhuman’ Biles

via Getty Images

There are not enough words to explain why this amazing athlete has to top the list. She is the world’s most dominant gymnast and she’s so great she has a signature move nobody in the world has ever achieved named after her, The Biles.

2. Usain Bolt

via Getty Images

He’s without any doubt, the fastest man in the world. He’s so fast, he managed to flash a smile for the  camera while breaking yet another world record.

3. Almaz Ayana

via Getty Images

Her performance during 10,000 metre race where she broke world and Olympic records has been described as the greatest athletic performance ever seen. She was the first athlete to put Africa on the map at the Rio Olympics when she won the gold medal for the race.

4. Wayde van Niekerk

via AFP Photo/Adrian Dennis

Trained by his 74-year-old great grandmother, Wayde not only won South Africa’s first gold medal, but also broke a 17-year-old world record during the 400m men’s race. His ability to break a world record from the 8th lane was so amazing, Usain Bolt came all the way to congratulate him.

5. Jemima Jelagat Sumgong

via Getty Images

Despite the fact that a strange man who was later arrested tried to disrupt the marathon race, Jemima still gunned for gold and won after completing the 40Km marathon race after 2 hours and 24 minutes.

6. Ibtihaj Muhammed

via Getty/AFP

Besides shattering stereotypes into pieces, Ibtihaj is the first American Muslim athlete to compete and win a medal at the Olympics even though racists haters didn’t want her to prosper. 

7. Simone Manuel

via NBC Universal

In spite of the racism associated with black people and swimming, Simone slayed the whole world when she history as the 1st African American woman to win gold at an individual Olympic swimming event.

8. Rafaela Silva

via Getty Images

Although she won Brazil’s first gold medal, Rafaela’s win at the Rio Olympics is even more inspiring, considering she grew up in an impoverished part of Brazil where Afro-Brazilians are heavily discriminated against. Oh the irony…take that racist haters!

9. Mohammed ‘Mo’ Farah

via SCMP Pictures

In a moment he thought was the end of his Rio 2016 Olympic dream, Mo Farah tripped and fell during the 10,000 metre race. But rather than give up, this British athlete clawed his way from the bottom and still won the race, like a boss!

10. Oscar Figueroa

via USA Today Sports

Winning his first Olympic gold medal in Rio, Oscar’s only reaction was to burst into celebratory tears. In the face of the racism black Colombians face, his countrymen still thanked him on Twitter saying, “Thanks, my beautiful black man”. 

11. Daryl D. Homer

via Kirill Kudryavtsev / AFP / Getty Images

In a game dominated by mostly white athletes, Daryl, who fell in love with fencing at age 5, took home the silver award after breaking a 112-year-old record. 

We know Nollywood movie titles can be a bit extra sometimes. But can you guess which of these ones are real? Take this quiz to find out.

1. When she calls you to assist her in the kitchen:

Hello ma there is no need to shout I’m here.

2. When she feels you aren’t eager enough to sweat and suffer in the kitchen

You better open those your teeth and be happy to be part f the process oh!

3. But when you are excited to learn, she’s like:

Let’s go!!

4. When she get’s angry with you for not being able to do something you’ve never done before.

But mummy I’ve never done this before how am I supposed to know how?

5. When you know how to do some things without tutoring, your mother is like:

Ehen! That’s my child!

6. How she looks at you when you forget to add MAGGI:

Mummy plis don’t kill me.

7. Her reaction when you add too much salt:

“And you know your father already has high blood pressure kuku kill all of us.”

8. When she starts gisting you about something random while you’re cutting pepper.

You have to be too careful not too laugh too much and cut yourself.

9. You cutting onions:

Tears everywhere!

10. Your mother cutting onions:

Always cool, calm and collected!

11. When she holds a hot cooking spoon barehanded like it’s nothing:

Is she superwoman? She must be superwoman!

12. When you try to do the same thing:

“It’s not that it’s paining me, water just likes coming out of my eyes.”

13. Your mother when you take the pot off the fire too early:

“So we should eat raw food because you want to finish on time abi?”

14. Her reaction when you forget the pot on the fire:

“Please explain to me where I got you from.”

15. When you follow all her instructions but the food is not sweet.

Which kind of problem is this?

16. How your mother watches your movements in the kitchen:

Please don’t kill yourself on my watch oh!

17. When you try to make a suggestion.

“Now you know more than me abi!”

18. When your suggestion works she’s like:

“Ahhhhh okay I see.”

19. When you misbehave after messing up in the kitchen your mother is like:

“You kuku don’t know how to do anything”

20. When you finally master something she taught you, you’re like:

I am now the master!

21. And she’s like:

But all jokes aside, Nigerian mothers are the best and as MAGGI turns 50, we want to celebrate the women who have been using MAGGI to create amazing meals for their loved ones.

The big idea for the MAGGI 50th anniversary campaign is: Let’s Celebrate. We intend to do this primarily by sending gift boxes containing specially curated ingredients and gifts to women influencers pan Nigeria & beyond for trusting MAGGI in the past years, and in the future ahead. Clink the link below to learn more.

1. How all the class efikos sit in front during speech and prize giving day:

Let’s do this.

2. Those unbothered students that only came for free drinks and food:

Where is the meatpie, biko?

3. You, when just one student is collecting all the gifts for your set:

Who is this one?

4. How the students that get called out for best in Maths and English walk out:

WINNING!

5. All your classmates, when the class olodo’s name gets called:

Say what?

6. How your mother looks at you when it’s almost over and they still haven’t called your name:

See your life.

7. When your father comes with all his friends and you haven’t won anything.

Hay God!

8. When your friend that always stabs class with you gets called out and you’re still empty-handed.

WOW! So it’s like that?

9. When your mates are getting called out for ‘best in Physics’ and you hear your name for ‘best in Yoruba’.

To use and do what?

10. When the efikos open their prizes in front of you and you’re just seeing water bottles.

See nonsense.

11. You, when the class oversabi’s name doesn’t get called out.

OUCH!

12. How you leave the speech and prize giving day empty-handed:

It can pain.

1. When your mother sees her for the first time.

“Who is this one?’

2. How your mother replies when your girlfriend greets her:

“Ehn oh!”

3. When your mother starts complaining that your girlfriend did not greet her well.

When she was almost rolling on the floor did you answer her?

4. When your mother starts talking about she does not want to have scallywag grandchildren.

Okay then have them by yourself!

5. When you eat in your girlfriend’s house and get home to see that your mother has cooked.

That means someone is in trouble oh!

6. When your mother knows you have plans with your girlfriend and starts looking for things for you to do.

Why are you doing this ma?

7. When your mother tells you she wants you to meet her daughter’s friend.

No ma. No thank you.

8. When you and your girlfriend are having a disagreement, your mother is like:

Fight very well sef!

9. When she starts claiming she saw your girlfriend in a dream and it was not good.

Mummy Josephina the dreamer!

10. When your girlfriend and mother start pressuring you to “choose”.

You people will not kill someone.

11. When your mother or girlfriend are praying against enemies and you know they are referring to each other.

Very what? Very good!

12. When you want to just dump both of them but you can’t because the love is too strong.

Why me oh Lord?

13. When one day the both of them agree on something.

Look at God in action!

14. But then what they agree on is something you’ve done wrong.

Win some, lose some!