“Congratulations, you got the job.” comes with its own brand of anxiety.
That’s when imposter syndrome from your village people comes out to visit, asking questions like: “can you perform? how long before they discover that you are a fraud?”
There are also other problems more work-related with a new 9-5, especially in Nigeria. So, what are some of these issues?
Where do they sell food?
See, I don’t joke with food and neither should you. It’s quite important to find out on the very first day of starting at a new job where they sell the sweetest yet affordable food. Never allow capitalism to win.
How many toilets are there?
For people like us who have shy sphincters, we need time, music, and enough privacy to do our business. You don’t want a situation where people are knocking on the door because there is only one toilet in the office. I even advise that one of the interview questions to ask is: “how many toilets do you have in the company?”
Hope they don’t owe salary?
Affliction shall never rise again. Especially if you have experienced that kind of situation in the past. This is one of the many questions that nags at the back of your mind.
Okay, what time do we close?
There are some 24-hour jobs disguised as 9-5. So, part of the questions on your mind is that hope this one isn’t one of those.
Is there December bonus?
Pls, help. Thanks and God bless.
What’s the cost of transportation?
Is there holdup on my work route? Do I need 5 buses, I boat, 2 flying carpets before I get to work and how much of my salary goes to that?
I hope they acknowledge public holidays?
If your profession is under essential categories such as healthcare, police, banker, etc. Just don’t bother, your reward is in heaven.
Are there boundaries? especially with food.
I genuinely hope no one steals lunch or takes my drink without my permission. There is nothing more stressful than obnoxious colleagues.
I love Nigeria. There’s a centre of excellence. We have a food basket. There’s no healthcare. We have our own coal city. There’s no light. We have the nation’s paradise. OMG, get out while you can. And of course, a centre of commerce.
That said.
Should you feel the need to give the hair under your wig or your sideburns a continuous, permanent taste of abroad breeze — Canadian breeze to be precise — make sure to read the rest of this article.
I spoke with a woman living in Toronto. Her beauty is a little too dangerous so she asked to remain anonymous for world peace.
She put us mainly through her process for moving in 2013 and finding cheap accommodation in Toronto. I added all the cool spots to visit and some random Toronto trivia.
What documents do I need to travel to Canada?
Okay, first. Before gathering your documents – making the move to another country and leaving the family and life you’ve always known is a big deal. Do some soul searching to be certain this is the right move to make. After five minutes of intense self-scrutiny, call your transcript plug back in university, you’ll be needing that. JK, moving is a big deal).
Our source moved to Canada with a student visa, following which she got a work permit that allowed her to remain in Canada to work, before getting a Permanent Residency. Here are some of the documents she needed:
Offer of admission from a Canadian learning institution.
Proof of acceptance into said institution.
Passport.
Passport photographs.
Police report stating you have not engaged in criminal activity.
Proof of payment of the visa application fees.
Past academic qualifications i.e B.sc certificate, WASSCE certificate and any other necessary academic certifications for the application.
Statement of Purpose (SOP) explaining the plans for study.
Proof of financial support/sufficient funds to cater to your needs in school.
Back when she applied in 2012, you had to apply for the visa in person at the Canadian embassy; but these days, VFS global, a visa service firm, handles all of the documentation. It took her three months to get her visa approved, following which she had to do a medical
Oh no. They denied my Canadian visa application.
And took the non-refundable visa application fee, the sharks.
Now because our source did not experience a denial; I had to turn to the custodians of knowledge on visa applications in Nigeria — the good people of Nairaland.
Should a denial happen; you can apply to receive the GCMS notes on your application. These notes provide a detailed record of your file, the documents received from you and notes from the visa officers that reviewed the file at each stage.
From the notes, you’ll discover that a denial can be for any number of reasons, some of which are:
Travel history.
The Visa Officers didn’t see enough evidence of travel in the past to believe you would return to Nigeria after studying (with good reason ). The people of Nairaland informed me that most times, this isn’t a stand-alone reason for a denial and is usually compounded by one of reasons I’ll be listing shortly.
To remedy this, in your statement of purpose when re-applying, make sure to convince the visa officer that you do not pose a risk of no-return. Taking care to list the reasons why you are certain to come back to Nigeria.
Length of proposed stay and purpose of visit.
In situations like these, the visa officers (VO) probably aren’t convinced you’re going to study or that you need the degree you’re applying for. Or it could be that the course of study chosen isn’t consistent with your work background and academic qualifications.
For the length of time, the VO may not be convinced you require as much time as you’re applying for to pursue the degree; or perhaps that you’ll gain the required experience within that time frame.
To fix this, make sure to select a program compatible within your academic/work background and be sure to convince the visa officer in your SOP, that the length of time and program are absolutely necessary for your progress in life and such.
Insufficient funds for studies and personal experiences.
Here, the visa officer isn’t convinced you have enough money to support yourself when living in Canada. This could be because a large amount of money was deposited into an inactive account shortly before the visa application – don’t do that.
Also, it could be because the sponsor (a person who undertakes to handle your financial needs, usually a parent), contradicts the amount you’ve declared to be available in your visa application forms.
To make sure this doesn’t happen, make sure you and your sponsor are on the same page with the amount of money available and be sure to fill out the forms carefully. In the event that funds truly are low, please endeavour to save as much as you can, to a reasonable threshold, before applying for the visa.
Show me the Permanent Residency Way.
There are about three ways to get a Canadian Permanent Residency:
Express entry, provincial nominee and family sponsorship. We’ll be focusing on the Express entry. The provincial nominee, family sponsorship and getting a Candian citizenship will be reviewed in another article.
Now, for a run-through of the Express Entry System.
You’ll need to create a profile with all your information on the CIC website (Citizen and Immigration Canada) here. Then you’ll need to complete an education evaluation through WES – World Education Services, to whom you’ll send your transcript (see why you need a uni plug!) for evaluation.
After that, you’ll do the dreaded IELTS exam, the higher your grade, the more points you get.
There’s a whole point system. wWith completing the WES evaluation, getting top marks in the IELTS, age, marital status and close family in Canada ready to take care of you, these increase your chances of obtaining the residency.
For single people, you’re going to need CAD$11k and around CAD $18k for married couples to show you’re financially capable of the move. Where you meet the cut-off set by the Canadian embassy, you’ll be sent an invitation to apply (ITA).
After this, you can submit the documents already listed, where the embassy finds it satisfactory, you’ll be told to do the requisite medicals – blood work, pee test etc
After this, you’ll be granted your visa, along with a landing document which you’ll present at the Canadian port of entry.
Great, they finally approved my visa. Now, where do I live?
Random fact: a 2011 study showed 50% of Nigerian immigrants live in Toronto
If it’s a student visa, you’re probably going to stay in student accommodation. But because the honest, greater goal is actually living in Canada after school, and our source is familiar with the Toronto area — here are some of the lowest costing neighbourhoods in the Toronto province of Canada:
Scourborough SW where the average monthly rent is around CAD $936 (₦254,592), Scarbourough Guildwood – CAD $950 or ₦258,400, York South – Weston CAD $957, Humber River – Black Creek.- CAD $1011. (Yes, I do realise those are monthly payments. Canada has light, okay)
Now first-timers will probably get basement apartments or rent with a roommate to reduce costs. These basement apartments get very cold, so be sure to have a heater or thermostat to regulate temperature. Getting a room within a house can also save you money.
But, if you’re a big spender, you can stay in areas like York Mills- Windfield, where the average home can set you back CAD $3.40 million, I won’t bother converting that. Or Bridle Path with its CAD $2.24 million price tagged homes or Forest Hills – CAD $3.18 million.
Random fact: Drake has a home in Bridle Path.
Great, I have a home to return to after Friday nights. Now where to go on Friday nights?
Bar Chef comes highly recommended. So does the Tilt Arcade Bar and The Voodoo Espresso and Cocktail Bar.
Okay, I miss Nigeria but not enough to return. Where can I get nostalgic jollof rice in Toronto?
Well, there is a place called Naija Jollof which our source hasn’t visited; but which must have some pretty fire jollof to have it in their Instagram handle.
A post shared by Lagos Lounge (@lagosloungetoronto) on
The food hit the spot, but where can I meet other Nigerian people in Toronto.
Probably a religious institution. There is a Nigerian Canadian Muslim Association where you can meet Nigerians of your faith and there are specifically Nigerian churches present as well. E.g – Nigerian Presbyterian Church Toronto, Jesus House Toronto etc.
I also found out two minutes ago, there is a thing called Nigerian dating where you can meet singles in your area. But that’s Google’s recommendation, not mine.
There’s a ton to do in Ontario. Visiting attractions like Casa Loma, The Royal Ontario Museum, making observations from the CN Tower or simply just staring in disbelief at the cold or the bulbs in your house that won’t go off unless you flip a switch.
With this little information on living abroad, I hope I’ve been able to aid and not completely befuddle your plans to move to Toronto.
Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.
P.S – We spoke to Wale who lives in Canada early in the series, check out his Abroad Life interview here.
Phones might be one of the best things to have happened in recent decades, but they came with their baggage too — from software to hardware problems. Hardware issues are easier to deal with, but when your phone develops a fault and you have no idea what is wrong, things become a little complicated. If you’ve been down this road, you will relate to this.
How your mood changes when your phone goes off and won’t come back on
What’s all this now.
You, in denial thinking the problem will fix itself
Let me just leave it alone for a few hours.
You, scouring google for what might be wrong
I can’t be the only one this thing has happened to
You, looking at all the confusing results
Can you people write in English, please?
When you find a piece of information you didn’t know about your phone
Eh ehn? But this is not what I’m looking for at the moment.
When you’ve tried everything but your phone is still not working
Why are you doing this to me?
When you realise that you have to take it to a repair centre
I didn’t sign up for this stress, abeg
And the money you will spend because you don’t have a warranty
But I paid in full for you.
When they tell you what’s wrong with your phone
All I need to know is if you can fix it
And how much it’s going to cost you
I think I should just buy a new phone
When they tell you to come back after two weeks
You mean I won’t have a phone for 14 days?
You, counting down down the days
This life is hard and I have no friends
When you go back for your phone and it’s been fixed
Hallelujah!
You, looking at what you have left in your account
The nominees for the 7th edition of the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards were announced last night, the 6th of February, 2020. A lot of your favourite movies were nominated along with movies I’m pretty sure you’ve never heard of. The movies, God Calling and Living In Bondage: Breaking Free have the most nominations with 10 each. Up next was Ratnik with 6 nominations. King of Boys, Seven, and Elevator Baby have 6 nominations each.
In the acting categories, Zainab Balogun pulled a Scarlet Johansson and scored two nominations in the Best Actress in a Drama (Movie/TV Series) for her performances in God Calling and Sylvia. Ramsey Nouah scored three acting nominations for his performances in Merry Men 1, Living in Bondage: Breaking Free, and Levi.
There were nominations we all saw coming (Swanky JKA for LIB, Sola Sobowale, Reminisce, and Toni Tones for KOB) and nominations that had us go, “When did that movie come out?”. Like Ramsey Nouah’s Best Actor in a Drama nomination for a Levi (the movie’s only nomination).
Keep scrolling to see the full AMVCA 2020 nominations list:
PUBLIC VOTING
Best Actor in a Comedy (Movie or TV Series)
Uzor Arukwe – Smash Chibunna “Funny Bone” Stanley – Smash Uzor Arukwe – Size 12 Ramsey Nouah – Merry Men 1 Etim Effiong – Plan B Daniel
Best Actress in a Comedy (Movie/TV Series)
Toyin Abraham – Bling Lagosians Bimbo Ademoye – Looking For Baami Funke Akindele – Moms At War Toyin Abraham – Kasanova Ebele Okaro – Smash
Best Actor in a Drama (Movie/TV Series)
Swankey J.K.A – Living In Bondage Timini Egbuson – Elevator Baby Efa Iwara – Seven Gabriel Afolayan – Coming From Insanity Ramsey Nouah – Levi
Best Actress in a Drama (Movie/TV Series)
Shola Shobowale – King Of Boys Zainab Balogun – Sylvia Zainab Balogun – God Calling Toyin Abraham – Elevator Baby Kate Henshaw – The Ghost And The House Of Truth
Best Supporting Actor in a Movie or TV Series
Damijo (Rmd) – Seven Richard Mofe Ramsey Nouah – Living In Bondage Nkem Owoh – God Calling Remilekun ‘Reminisce’ Safaru – King Of Boys Pascal Tokodi – Disconnect
Best Supporting Actress in a Movie or TV Series:
Toni Tones – King Of Boys Eucharia Anunobi – The Foreigner’s God Tina Mba – The Set-Up Mary Lazarus – Size 12 Gloria Sarfo – The Perfect Picture: 10 Years Later
Best Short Film or Online Video:
Oga John – Bolanle Akintomide Thorn – Bola ‘Enigma’ Akanbi Prueba – Stanlee Ohikuhare Tokunbo – Bio Arimoro
NON-PUBLIC VOTING
Best Cinematographer:
God Calling – Cardoso Living In Bondage – John Demps Ratnik – Niyi White, Gbenga Fifolabi and Abiola Ladipo The Set Up – Mohammed Attah
Best Lighting Designer In A Movie Or TV Series:
God Calling – Cardoso Ratnik – Abiola Ladipo Elevator Baby – Eleaxu Texas Plan B – Odhiambo Walter
Best Costume Designer Movie or TV Series:
Living In Bondage Olohigbe Nwagwu The Foreigner’s God Ifan Michael Ratnik Dimeji Ajibola King Of Boys Yolanda Okereke
Best Make-Up Category:
God Calling – Lilian Omozele Paul The Foreigner’s God – Jude Odoh King Of Boys Hakeem Effects Coming From Insanity – Bio Arimoro
Best Writer in a Movie or TV Series:
BB Sasore – God Calling Tosin Igho – Seven Vanessa Kanu – Sylvia Biodun Stephen – Joba Nicole Asinugo and CJ Obasi – Living In Bondage Akay Mason and Yusuf Carew – Elevator Baby
Best Documentary:
Hidden Euphoria – Aderogba Adedeji Skin – Beverly Naya Against All Odds: A Tale Of Resilience – Aderemi Davies Ibadan: Yoruba Heritage – Tunde Oladimeji
Best Indigenous Language Movie/TV Series Swahili:
Raveet Sippy Chadh – Subira Timoth Conrad Kachumka – Sema Victor Gatonye – Dream Child Joan Kabugu – Toy Car
Best Indigenous Language Movie/TV Series Yoruba:
Ronke Odusanya – Ajoji Godogbo – Yewande Famakin – Alubarika Oyebade Adebimpe – Adebimpe Omo Oba Wumi Olabimtan – Intent
Best Indigenous Language Movie/TV Series Hausa:
Tuntube – Muhammad T. Finisher Mariya – Abubakar Bashir Abarawa Rai – Muhammad Adam and Tundun Murtala Sadauki – Hassan Giggs
Best Indigenous Language Movie/TV Series Igbo:
Isianyaocha – Brown Ene Nekwa – Paul Igwe Nne – Victor Iyke Obiakpor – Evan Okechukwu
Best Movie Southern Africa:
Kukuri – Philippe Talavera Dalitso – Abraham Kabwe Kwacha – Cassie Kabwikta The Beautiful Hen Behind Yao Mountain – Imran Kaisi
Best Movie East Africa:
Disconnect – Iman Mueke Lost In Time – Edijoe Mwaniki Plan B – Sarah Hassan 94 Terror – Mulinwa Richard
Best Movie West Africa:
God Calling – Momo Spaine Seven – Tosin Igho Elevator Baby – Victoria Akujobi Living In Bondage – Steve Gukas Ratnik – Dimeji Ajibola
Best Television Series Drama Or Comedy:
Jenifa’s Diary – Funke Akindele Truth – Anis Halloway Life As It Is – Uche Odoh Women – Uchenna Mbunabo
Best Picture Editor:
God Calling – Holmes Awa Ratnik – Dimeji Ajibola Living In Bondage – Antonio Rebeiro Seven – Tosin Igho and Bryan Dike Elevator Baby – Emiola Fagbenle
Best Art Director Movie/TV Series:
Living In Bondage – Victor Afrigold, Ayanda Carter, Jim Franklin, Zimasa Ndamase Ratnik – Dimeji Ajibola, Iwaotan Olusola Roberts God Calling – Omotola Alade The Bling Lagosians – Bolanle Austen Peters
Best Sound Track Movie/TV Series:
King Of Boys – Sess, Reminisce & Adekunle Gold – Original Gangster Living In Bondage – Larry Gaga & Flavour – Tene God Calling – Ighwiyisi Jacobs – Stay With Me The Gift – Mercy Aghedo – The Gift Run -Timzil – Run
Multichoice Talent Factor:
Life of Bim – West Africa Dreamchaser – West Africa Ensulo – East Africa Promises – East Africa Savana Skies – Southern Africa The Painting – Southern Africa
Best Director:
Living In Bondage – Steve Gukas, Ramsey Nouah God Calling – Bb Sasore The Set-Up – Niyi Akinmolayan King Of Boys – Kemi Adetiba Ratnik – Dimeji Ajibola The Ghost And The House Of Truth – Akin Omotosho Seven – Tosin Igho
Contrary to what many people believe, Nigeria is full of many brilliant minds, who, if given the opportunities afforded their foreign counterparts, will go on to change the world with their ideas. Doubt this? The following inventors are proof.
1) The girls who invented a urine-powered generator.
Back in 2012, Duro-Aina Adebola, Akindele Abiola, Faleke Oluwatoyin, and Bello Eniola, four teenage girls in secondary school developed a generator that’s powered with urine and showcased it at Maker Faire Africa. According to the girls, this is how the contraption works:
Urine is put into an electrolytic cell, which cracks the urea into hydrogen, nitrogen, and water.
The hydrogen is purified with a water filter and is pushed into the gas cylinder.
The gas cylinder pushes the hydrogen into a cylinder borax, which removes moisture from the hydrogen gas.
The purified hydrogen is then pushed into the generator.
1 litre of urine gives 6 hours of electricity.
2) The 13-year-old creator of the Blue Wind fans.
In 2016, Michael Ukoma created a battery-operated fan that, when fully charged, can last up to nineteen hours. He calls them “The Blue Wind Fans” and they come in different sizes e.g. tabletop, free-standing, etc. The materials he uses – mostly aluminium, wires, and old cartons for packaging – makes his fans affordable for low-income households. He hopes to have his own company one day so he can start creating engines and aircraft.
3) The fifteen-year-old creator of the hydraulic toys.
Fascinated with toys, Gerald Odo decided to create his own line of toys with scrap materials. Using painted plywood, syringes, water, wire, small tubes along with a motorcycle battery to power the whole thing, he made a dump truck, excavator, and a helicopter.
4) The engineer who built a customized tractor.
UK-trained Nigerian engineer Timothy Addigi Terfa built what he termed the”100% Nigerian” tractor in 2016. He named it ‘Ijodo’, meaning ‘labour’ in his native Tiv language. According to Terfa, the tractor was built with materials sourced in Nigeria and was designed with the ability to cover a wide variety of farm jobs due to different attachments.
All we’ve said here today shows that when it comes to making things better in a society, you don’t always have to look too far. We have more innate abilities to create than we give ourselves credit for. Sometimes, the answer is within you. All you have to do is turn it up!
Speaking of turning it up, here’s a video made by MTN that perfectly expresses what the phrase “turn it up” means in the context described above. Watch and be inspired:
There’s so much new music being released that it’s hard for even the most loyal fans to wade through the trash to find the gems. That’s why we’ve created #BumpThis – a daily series that features new songs, by and featuring Nigerians, that you absolutely need to hear.
Peruzzi — “Gunshot”
While undeniably talented, both as a songwriter and a performer, Peruzzi can be pretty hit or miss with his releases. Thankfully, his latest single, “Gunshot” falls squarely into the ‘hit’ category.
On the solidly produced track, Peruzzi sings about an attractive woman he’s powerless to resist. Peruzzi has released a few impressive solo tracks since he broke out, but “Gunshot” rises above the rest due to sheer catchiness.
Wande Coal — “Again”
At this point in his career, Wande Coal has nothing left to prove. He’s already dropped enough gems to validate his status as one of afropop’s greatest stars, but that hasn’t stopped him from continuing to deliver.
His newest single, “Again” finds him at the peak of his considerable powers, utilising his standout voice and typically heartwarming lyrics, making this the best thing he has put out in over a year.
Patoranking — “I’m In Love”
Patoranking has been one of Nigeria’s most consistent stars since he broke out, dropping at least one defining banger every year. To kick off the new decade, he’s come through with another solid single, “I’m In Love”.
On the dancehall-influenced track, Patoranking sings about feeling blessed to have found the woman of his dreams. It’s a delightful love song that continues the singer’s seemingly endless streak.
Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to as kids.
We present, a list of shows that made growing up bearable:
1) Freakazoid!
I can hear the theme song playing in my head:
Super-teen extraordinaire Freakazoid! Freakazoid! Runs around in underwear Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
2) Family Matters:
Oh, sweet boy Steve Urkel. Precious precious boy
3) Biker Mice:
Biker mice from marssss. The intro sent enough chills that you had to beg NEPA not to take light. It was preferable to not even have light to watch it than to start and get cut off mid-way through an episode. It was that good!
4) Animaniacs
It’s time for Animaniacs. What struck me the most was how destructive and troublesome they were. I was always stressed to see what new trouble they could conjure. Whew. Under the Animaniacs universe, one of my favorite cartoons was the one about the chicken pretending to be human. Chicken boo?
5) Tom and Jerry Kids
Just look at how adorable they look but looks are deceiving.
6) The KKB show
Memory is a tricky thing and I don’t recall if this was part of the Cadbury show or just a Saturday special. Anyhow, my meat! my personal meat! will forever reign supreme in my head. After all, Kids know besssstt.
Honorable shout out to Golden Rockerz, Last Kid Standing, Work It Out, Tales by Moonlight, Fun Time.
Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings.
1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM.
In which your parents can slap you for dozing, not singing out loud enough, not praying properly.
2. After prayers come the house chores.
In which doing the laundry ranks as number one, followed by sweeping, dusting the house, washing plates.
3. Cleaning your room.
Otherwise no breakfast for you.
4. Pap for breakfast.
A Saturday morning delicacy in every Nigerian household.
5. Homework time.
There’s never time to play on a Saturday. You must focus on your books, bring home that first position, and go ahead to become a doctor.
Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
The subject of today’s sex life is a 30-year-old bisexual woman who almost gave up on sex after being blackmailed with a sex tape.
When did you have have sex for the first time?
When I was in law school. I think I was 21. I wasn’t really planning to have sex, but then I didn’t plan to do all the things that I did that year.
Things like what?
Wild out. Focus on parties more than I did my academics. I had never spent an extended period of time outside of the North, and I wanted to do everything I couldn’t do when I lived with my parents. There was drinking, partying, and then sex.
So how did the sex happen?
I went to a party with a couple of girls. We met up with some guys, one of whom was staring at me the whole night. He didn’t talk to me until we were about to leave. After one or two sentences, he asked me to come and spend the night at his place. I turned him down. How was I doing that with someone I’d just met? He didn’t even try to flirt. He just went straight to the point — If you want to sleep with me, at least toast me small. Take me on a date, buy me a drink.
The next day, I got a friend request from him on Facebook and that was how we started talking.
Eventually, I went one day after lectures. I didn’t tell him I’d never had sex before, but he was very gentle and kind. I watched a lot of porn growing up, so I expected it to be rough and painful.
So, you enjoyed it?
It was nice.
Just nice?
Haha. I didn’t have anything to compare it to at the time and now that I do, I can’t exactly remember the experience. I guess that it was just there.
What happened next?
He told me he was in love with me and that totally freaked me out. We literally just met and he was at least ten years older. I told him to get it together. Abeg.
LOL. What if he was lying just to get some more?
I didn’t see the need for him to do that; I was already willing to sleep with him again. When I told my friends about it, they agreed that I better stay away. I did.
Anyway, from that moment on, it was wild.
Do you have any particular memories?
A ton. On campus, I made out with this hijabi babe that was in the room opposite mine. We were studying and then we just started making out. When I was younger, I thought my attraction to women was something every woman had. Like my mum — peace be unto her soul — used to check out other women, and she spent an insane amount of time with this particular woman who I now think may have been her lover. Even when my dad was alive.
It wasn’t until I got into secondary school, which was quite strict and conservative, that I realised how forbidden same-sex attractions were.
So me and this babe used to sneak around and make out. We had sex a couple of times. One time, she sat beside me in class and fingered me.
WOW.
Yes! It ended eventually. We fought about something really silly. I can’t even remember what it was.
At the time, were you guys exclusive? Or were you seeing other people?
Yeah. I saw a couple of guys on the side and had sex with them too.
How did sex with her compare to having sex with guys?
It was a lot better. She was a lot more experienced and on the first try, it seemed like she knew my body. I surrendered to her completely, but she also taught me how to please other women.
With men, sex is usually selfish. They want to do the thing fast and come. And even when they’re interested in your body, they don’t really know how to navigate it and won’t listen to corrections.
SMH.
Yup. For a while, I was tired of having sex with men, but it was also just part of the fun, so I didn’t stop.
Did this in anyway affect your academics?
I got a second class — and this was like years ago when they were still very selfish with their first class. So I can say that it didn’t. To be fair though, at some point, I slowed down and didn’t party as much, until after exams.
Immediately after exams, I continued. I even tried drugs.
You didn’t go back home?
Not right away because I had an internship already. So I was partying literally every weekend after my exams. And it was during one of those parties everything changed.
What happened?
A threesome with the wrong person, I guess. It was me, my friend and a guy. I assumed she knew the guy or that he was someone from campus. Turned out she didn’t. I can’t remember the details. But we were in a bar, and she was hanging out with this guy. After a while, she came to me and asked if I wanted to do something with her friend. I was like, sure, why not. I never said no to ‘doing something’. We went to his hotel down the road and ‘did something’.
Even though it was my first time having a threesome, it wasn’t a big deal to me. I was high as fuck and didn’t know what I was doing. One thing though: every time I did some risky shit, I made sure the person used a condom or that I took the morning after pill.
By Monday morning, I had forgotten everything. I went to work and started my day. Sometime around noon, I started getting messages from my friend that someone had our sex tape and was going to release it on Facebook.
I laughed because, what sex tape? She called me and explained that someone — most likely the guy we had sex with — had taped us having sex and that he was going to release it. I laughed again because, how did he tape us? It didn’t make sense. I told her to calm down, that maybe he was playing a prank on her. And she was like possibly, but that she doesn’t actually know him like that. That was when I knew we were in trouble, that we were being blackmailed.
What the hell?
I didn’t even know where to start — I was confused, agitated and tired. I couldn’t do any work that day. He got my email address from my friend and emailed me a “snippet” as evidence and said there was more. It was hard to watch, I deleted it immediately and then deleted it from the recycle bin. I tried tracking down the name in the email on Facebook, but I didn’t find anything. He kept calling with different numbers and harassing me.
I begged because it wasn’t just about my family — my career was at stake.
Wow
I think it was especially scary because online, feminism wasn’t as popular. There was a lot of slut shaming, a lot of name calling from men and women. So I was really scared. How was I being blackmailed at my small age?
Did he want something?
Yeah. After a week of torturing us, he told us he wanted money. It was a lot of money to me back then. 150,000 naira. My friend and I were poor. My friend didn’t even have a job. Where would we get that kind of money from?
Couldn’t you have done something legally?
I’ve never felt like the law could protect me. Not as a woman. Now imagine being a middle, almost lower class girl who just has big dreams of being a lawyer. Nope. The law was/is not on my side. I’m a lawyer now, so I know what I’m saying. I see all these cases of women getting sexually assaulted and nothing is done. Now that we have feminism, there are little victories here and there, but seriously? In the grand scheme of things, we’re at the bottom of the pyramid. Now imagine going to the police and saying, “I’m being blackmailed.”
This is true. What did you do next?
We borrowed money here and there and we sent it to an account. He said it wasn’t his own and that we couldn’t use that name to track him. It wasn’t even like we tried, we were too ashamed that we were being blackmailed with a sex tape to ask for help. Silly behaviour. Would not recommend.
Typical blackmailer, he asked for more. I think about 50k. But even before this, sometimes he’d ask me or my friend to send him credit. Then he kept manipulating us, telling one of us that the other had sent him money and all.
Eventually my friend told her younger brother that we were being blackmailed and asked him to talk to the guy. That one told him that we didn’t have any more money to give and that if he liked, he could upload the video. I almost slapped him when he said that. Kai. He also said we knew who he was and that the police were coming to get him. That’s how it ended. He never emailed or called again.
Wow.
Yup. It was just scary.
How did being blackmailed affect your sex life?
First of all, I went back home and I was like, you this city, never again. Then I deleted all my social media accounts for a bit. And finally, I just stopped having sex all together.
Really?
Yup. Well I’m married now, but before I could even sleep with my husband, it took a while. He’s very patient though. He knows my past and he understands my vulnerabilities.
What’s sex like these days?
Pretty cool. I mean, I don’t experiment or do anything outside the normal anymore. But, it’s good and I enjoy it. Another thing is, anytime we travel, I don’t have sex in hotels because scary stuff. In the beginning, I found it hard to sleep in hotels. But now, at least I can. I’m still really really private. But yeah, we take it each day at a time. Sometimes, I’m just like what was I thinking?
So how would you rate your sex life?
Before I answer that, I’d just like to tell young women reading this that if you are going through anything, find someone, preferably a woman that you can completely trust and open up to her.
To answer your question, I have to mention that I’m actually considering therapy but sometimes, I ask myself, is it that serious? It’s been years. I feel that if I do therapy, I’d loosen up a bit. For now though, my sex life is 5. I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t be having any sex if I wasn’t married to the love of my life.
Check back every Saturday by 12pm for new stories in the Sex Life series. If you would like to get this story in your mail before everyone else — complete with inside gist that doesn’t make the final cut, sign up here. Catch up on older stories here.
Everyone wants a sugar daddy, someone to finance their life. But not everyone wants to be a sugar daddy. Do you even deserve a sugar daddy if you’re not likely to ever be one? Because Nollywood is the standard, having given (and still giving) us premium sugar daddies back to back, take this quiz and we’ll tell you which Nollywood sugar daddy you are.
In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told at least half of them in your lifetime. Ole ni everybody.
1. “I’m already on the bike.”
When they’ve not even left the house.
2. “Hello? Hello? Ah, this network is bad o.”
Especially when it’s time to talk about their debts.
3. “It’s not even the stolen iPhone X that pained me. It’s my SIM card.”
You mean your free Glo SIM card? Abegi shut up.
4. “Your clothes will be ready next week.”
The trademark lie of Nigerian tailors.
5. “I’m not even pained by the break-up. I just want to know who they are dating now.”
Just say it’s paining you. We will understand.
6. “I used to come first back then in secondary school.”
Nigerian parents, hello.
7. “Oga, climb the bike. I sabi the place well-well.”
Hausa bike riders when they’re about to ‘lost’ you.
8. “We’ll just cuddle, nothing more.”
That’s how someone I know started cuddling a pregnancy.
Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table.
1. You, when you hear that Valentine is coming.
Because to you, February 14 is just another day in the calendar. Why kill yourself?
2. You, when they advertise Valentine package.
Mo ya look away.
3. You, when everyone is getting excited.
What’s the unnecessary excitement for?
4. Your face whenever some calls you unromantic.
Valentine’s Day is not just the only day to show love to your partner. It should be everyday, duh!
5. You, when another love song comes up on the radio.
Wozoldis, for goodness sake?
6. You, when Valentine ends and you can go back to your normal life.
So you’re in a new area and you decide to find a church and fellowship with fellow brethren. It’s always a wonderful time, but there are also other things. We made a list of them.
1. When you step in and the ushers lead you to a special seat.
As per first-timer.
2. The whole church taking stylish glances at you.
As per, who is this stranger?
3. You, struggling with the hymn.
Because in your church, they don’t sing that type of hymn. But you don’t want to look like a JJC so you scope it.
4. How everyone looks at you when the pastor says, “If you’re worshipping with us for the first time, please come forward.”
Yes you, they are calling you.
5. You, when service ends and they give you a first-timer’s gift.
Small chops, Pepsi, jotter and pen. Will I not be doing first-timer every Sunday like this?
Ibadan is a fun place. For a newcomer though, it might be a bit difficult to navigate, and you might be cheated too. Just as Lagos has its modus operandi, Ibadan too has a system that will make your stay or visit a fun experience. We hope our little guide helps you.
1. When dealing with traders, bus drivers or keke drivers, always speak Yoruba.
This might be hard for people who don’t speak Yoruba, but it’s the truth. Speaking Yoruba gives them a sign that you’re street, not butty. It makes it less easy to cheat you.
2. Never accept the first price as the last price.
Basically, price everything. EVERYTHING. Including bus fares. You never know .
3. If you’re going to take a bike, look for Hausa men.
The speed aside, these ones will not charge you so much. Even if they do, you can easily slash the price and go long distance. But you see those Yoruba and Igbo riders, avoid them. Their eye don tear.
4. Ibadan is not as local as people always try to paint it.
This is a picture of Challenge at night. See how beautiful it looks?
5. If you’re on a budget, pick street food over restaurant food.
Restaurant prices can be a little bit on the high side. And they might not taste as good. But you see street food? Chai. Great taste, great price. Surest bet anytime.
Believe it or not, food is cheap in Ibadan. The same amount that can get you recharge card can also get you food enough to satisfy you — if you’re not a longer throat, that is.
1. Amala and meat.
You can buy two wraps without meat. Or one wrap and one meat. As you like it.
2. White rice and dodo.
Rice N70, dodo N30. If the seller asks you about meat, turn your face away.
3. Yam pottage (asaro).
Asaro is a delicacy here, so it’s quite cheap. And tasty too.
4. Dodo ikire.
This goes for as low as N30. Now imagine if you buy one worth N100. Parte after parte.
5. Pap and moi moi.
N30 pap, N50 moi moi. There’s still change to buy sweet later.
Yes, love is good. Yes, music makes things easier. Yes, music about romance and love is wonderful, but do you people ever stop to think about those single people who have nobody? We bet you don’t. And that’s why we are telling you that we are tired of these songs.
We’re beginning to begin to begin to get tired, dear. Fall in your love and don’t sing it to us.
3. Billionaire by Teni.
This would have been a great song to inspire us single people to make money since we can’t find love. But Teni had to go spoil it by saying, “Wanna make love on the moon…” As single people, who are we to make love to ehn, Teni? Answer us, please.
4. Soapy, Tesumole and everything Naira Marley.
We cannot possess two identities anymore. We either choose to be single or to be Marlians. And seeing that the Marlian institution is set to frustrate us with repeated sexual content, we choose to be single. Collect your Marlian tag from us, Naira. We don’t want it anymore.
5. Attention by Tiwa Savage.
Tiwa’s audacity is shocking, tbh. You have somebody paying you attention but you say it is not enough. What of us that have only MTN and Ecobank text messages to pay us attention, what should we do?
If you love reality shows and sappy love stories, this is the Ultimate Love. Here’s something you should know about me; I spent the last two years catching every minute of Big Brother Naija, including that one time we all had to stay up till three in the morning while people were getting sneaked into the house. Now, I’ll be bringing all that energy, sharing daily recaps of the new reality TV show, Ultimate Love, for the next 8 weeks! We what? We move!
What is Ultimate Love?
16 strangers are coming on a reality show to look for bae.
You can’t tell me that’s ridiculous, when you people are now using LinkedIn that’s meant for Career advancement to “Gbe sun mo ko magnet”.
These contestants, who will be referred to as Love Guests, are entering the house on the evening of February 9, 2020. The couple with the highest number of votes on the last day will be crowned Ultimate Couple. Basically, 8 couples will be playing to win a traditional wedding and a fully furnished house (but only if they decide to get married).
If they do not end up getting married, they get a cash prize and other prizes that will be revealed to us as the show proceeds.
Team wedding Jollof has joined the WhatsApp group chat.
We know The Hosts
Dakore Egbuson and Oluwaseun Olaniyan will be hosting the first edition of Ultimate Love. Dakore is the rockstar Nollywood actress, and Oluwaseun is an MC.
There’ll be an Aunty in the Love Pad
Just like we always have Biggie in the Big Brother’s house, there’ll be an Aunty in the Love Pad. Aunty is there to help them find their perfect partner and also serve as Love Doctor, aka counsellor.
Adesuwa Onyenokwe, the Editor-in-Chief of Today’s Woman magazine. will be playing the role of Aunty. She seems perfect for that role, and I look forward to watching her help these people locate bae.
The Pairing
From what I’ve gathered so far, the Love Guests – that’s what we’re calling the 16 contestants. 8 men, 8 women, all between the ages of 23-35. All single, but we all know Nigerian men and “I’m not really married” is a thing, so don’t be shocked if you find a slightly married man on the show.
They’ll live together for 2 weeks before getting paired into 8 couples, who’d have battle it out to be the last couple standing. I’ve been wondering if things will occur after the drama. I mean, what’s a reality show without drama?
Imagine a Love Guest that’s been paired with their supposed perfect partner, developing feelings for someone else’s missing rib? Omo Na to scatter it, because, last-last we are all single until we get married. Abi? Or imagine finding out that your perfect partner snores loudly in bed? Or your partner is not very good at romance, but your neighbour’s partner sabi the work? Ha, e go red.
Aunty Love might have to reshuffle, abeg.
The Tasks
Lmaooo. This one ehn, I don’t even know where to start or what to think. Tasks in Big Brother’s house were mostly to challenge the HMs mentally, physically, and creatively. So, I’ve been thinking so much about what the tasks will be. Will they be given these tasks in order to determine who’s perfect for them in the first two weeks of them getting to know themselves? Let’s assume that’s the case, will these tasks continue to be a thing after they’ve been paired? I’m really looking forward to how this will play out. One thing is certain, e go REDDDDDDD!!!
Nomination and Eviction
LMAO. O jewa safe us oh, because this is where betrayal might come in. Good thing is that they won’t be betraying their partners, even if they have to nominate for possible eviction. I believe there will be eviction every week after they’ve all stayed in the house for at least 2 weeks and they’ve been paired with their perfect partners. Aunty might even decide to keep putting all ships up every week till we have our final ships that’d make it to the finale week.
Ha, Cash out season, baby.
Johnny Drille will be performing live at the opening ceremony. The inspiration behind this show can easily be linked to the couples Big Brother Naija has produced. BamTeddy (BamBam and Teddy A) who got married last year met in Big Brother’s house (BBN Season 3, Double Wahala). Khadoni (Khafi and Gedoni) also met in Big Brother’s house last year and got engaged 3 months after the show ended.
It was only right that the showrunners created another show for those looking for bae. Whether or not you have bae, stick around, enjoy the show.
This is going to be a pure cruise, I can feel it!
Every day at 5 pm, we’ll publish a new update on this show – complete with the drama, the awwns and the ehyas. Stick around!
If you live in Lagos, then you already know about the Okada ban. This is not only because it’s on the news but because you have skin in the game of the stress it has caused. We don trek bastard, please.
On Saturday, there was a peaceful protest over the ban but we are yet to see any significant response from the Government. Are we truly on our own?
To better understand the far-reaching effects of this ill-advised policy, we asked both car owners and leggedez benz owners in Lagos to share with us their experience in the past week. In addition, we got an Okada man to tell us his story.
Here’s what they had to say:
Olamide:
“Before, I’d park my car and take bikes when I wanted to avoid traffic. Even in Lagos, it’s not everywhere you can drive to. Now, it’s everywhere I must drive to. It’s really shitty. It takes longer and it’s more stressful.”
Anne:
It hasn’t affected me though because buses ply my route to and fro work. However, I constantly say these words when I remember that my co-workers trek to work every day: “Sango, Amadioha, Ogun will punish all of them in their jeeps.”
Coachito:
“Fam. I saw terrible things. I have had to trek long distances to work in the past few days that I never imagined I could complete. To worsen things, they have increased the price of buses so bye-bye to budgeting. I had already planned my spending for this month: remove money for valentine gift, save and manage what’s left. Everything has scattered.“
Nunu:
“I see kids walking to school. It’s sad. I’d pick them up but I can’t help everyone. Also, crowd control. I don’t want to encourage them getting into anybody’s car. I could be a kidnapper.”
Sisi:
“It hasn’t affected me as much as I thought it would. I suddenly realized that my house is not far from Ikeja underbridge and it is very trekkable .“
Ayo:
“Traffic!!!!!! O porrrrrrrr. The traffic is worse and I hate driving which makes it worse. Regardless, I never used bikes so it hasn’t affected me. The tricycles on the other hand…They helped when I didn’t want to drive in traffic, which is a lot of times. But the route I pass now, I either use the car or a bus so I don’t really have a need for bikes or tricycles.“
Maxwell:
“As I dey like this, na house I dey. I no even know wetin I go do. Na Okada I don dey ride all these years. I no know which work I go do. If to say I never marry, I for no too worry, I even get pikin.”
Working in Private Equity is quite the dream for many young people in Nigeria who have the kind of qualifications they’re looking for.
The subject of this story didn’t get in by chance. She’s 23, recently finished NYSC and has been working since the first week she completed her final year project in school.
She studied accounting but decided to pursue an investment banking career. She hasn’t looked back since.
Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
Let’s go all the way back, like way, way back – you know, to your childhood.
I wanted to be a doctor – finding the cure for HIV was supposed to be my life’s purpose. Then, one day in SS1, my Accountant uncle was like “why don’t you study accounting. You can work anywhere,”
And that’s how I ended up in commercial class.
I pretty much knew that I could survive in any career path but I particularly liked accounting because it had a sprinkle of maths here and there
So, it wasn’t money, but in fact maths.
While it was a spur of the moment decision, it wasn’t a path that was uninteresting for me because there was math involved so I had fun with it.
Speaking of money, I love, love money.
Hahaha. About money, when did you first clock the importance of money, ever?
Look, I grew up in a low-income family. Three siblings and my mum – my dad is late.
I’ve always known that money is the koko. My sister and I have always dreamed of ways to get rich from a very young age.
Considering the fact that my dad died when I was 12, the hustle sort of intensified. Immediately we could navigate how to board buses properly we were on our way to building our Dynasty – that’s what we called it hahaha.
We pretty much have the ‘driven’ gene. It’s overwhelming.
And intense. Sorry about your dad.
Thanks. I was 12, about to write my Junior WAEC.
Must have been tough for you mum.
We actually had great financial support from my uncles on both sides of the family. One of them was the main sponsor – the person that pays for tuition and major bills.
That’s amazing. What’s the first thing you ever did for money?
I needed to go to prom in SS3 but we didn’t have enough money. My sister was a budding fashion designer and I was her model, so we made a sample prom dress. I took pictures and we wanted to show people the sample, so they can make their prom dresses with us.
We tried to go to one of the fancy schools – they didn’t make it past the gate, hahaha.
Hahaha. This is hardcore. Do you remember the first money you made though?
That’d be my first salary as a research intern at my pre-NYSC job. 2018. 60k.
Ah ahn, enjoyment.
Hahaha, not really. Family responsibilities sort of come in but I’m grateful. Anyway, I went on to serve at an investment bank in Lagos, and they paid me 100k a month.
I imagine these guys retained you.
They wanted to but I needed to work with a bigger company.
This energy, which market can I buy it?
Hahaha. I got a job working in Private Equity. I don’t know how long I’d be here but my little time here has exposed me to different businesses. In the near future, it’d be easier to run my business, if the time comes.
Interesting. What are your biggest WOAHs since you started working in Private Equity?
Considering that I’ve been here for a little over two months, the biggest WOAH has really been working for a company that not operating in only Nigeria. It’s strange but interesting understanding of other Anglophone African economies. For example, I never really cared about how the Ghanaian economy worked until I started working here so it’s quite challenging and interesting.
Unlike Nigeria, Ghana actually has an oversupply of power in its economy. Can you beat that?
You had to bring in electricity.
Haha! While the demand for electricity overshadows that of supply in Nigeria, the reverse is the case in Ghana. Now they have long term power contracts that they have to renegotiate so that the government doesn’t continue to pay for unused power.
Meanwhile, you are here, worrying about electricity and Okada bans. How has that affected you, by the way?
HORRIBLE. It makes me rant on my WhatsApp status every morning. One of my friends told me he fell ill and landed in the hospital.
Woah. I hope he’s okay.
Yes. The doctor just prescribed a drug called “Less Lagos Madness”
Hahaha. This is the funniest, not-funny thing ever.
It’s like I go to work with an open mind every day.
Questions like “would I get a bus?”, “how long am I going to wait for one?”, “how many people would I successfully shove trying to get into a bus?” My work colleagues can’t relate, I look like the crazy one
What’s your monthly income like now, and how does it disappear monthly?
300k net. One would think I’d have lots of Investments considering I’m a finance person but it’s not so. I have to write exams – ACCA and co. I also have to settle the school fees of my younger siblings. Currently saving up for rent. I’m sure I’d get a grip of myself mid-year and I can have lots of disposable income. Also hoping for a full-time role, from intern to an analyst.
Wait, are you an intern currently?
Yes. The way these multinationals work, they need to sort of see you work for a period before you transition into full time. It’s basically budgeted in dollars.
How much will you earn when you go full time?
I’m not sure. Wild guess? 800-1 million. It’s a year’s internship, but you can get a bump up earlier being a high performer.
I’m rooting for you.
Thanks.
It’s time to get our hands a little dirty in the nitty-gritty of your monthly expenses.
Let me explain the numbers. The family part includes monthly upkeep, part-payment for my sister’s school fees and brother’s school expenses.
Feeding is cheap because I try to cook. That transport part is definitely going up this month with this Okada ban. My skin and body maintenance is really cheap because I generally don’t wear makeup and all.
Being a girl is so expensive by the way, and I’m just doing the barest minimum at the upkeep department. That’s why I’m big on making more money and changing my life.
Tell me more about the upkeep part.
I mean, I don’t go shopping every other month, I don’t buy Vietnamese hair – at least not yet. No manicure or spa treatments. I don’t spend 50k on body oils and an extra 50k on fragrance. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like them but it’s not just time. Soon. I just need to stash good and smart.
The way I grew up has always made me approach things with a unique mindset, and it has worked to a good extent.
I see big things as very achievable. Like, “what’s the worst that could happen?” I have no problem banging on every dream company door if I need a job.
Interesting fact: Before I got this job, I wrote lots of cold emails to different companies’ CEOs. So I’m a big dreamer and intentional about creating generational wealth.
I’m curious, how much do you imagine you’ll be earning in 5 years?
With plan A or B?
Run me through both
This is very optimistic, but I want billions in annual revenue if I become an entrepreneur.
But following my career trajectory, I might be up for up to $250000 per year.
I’m going to leave that entrepreneurship part. $250k per annum? That is wild.
Yes. In my heart of hearts, this is it. The trick to earning well is to ensure you add enough value to account for your high salary. The higher ranked you’re, the easier it is to directly link your performance and remuneration.
Let’s create a scenario of a road to 250k. And what it looks like.
Go for Master’s next year – that should take a year. Start as an investment professional at one of the top Development Finance Institutions – $120k to 150k per year. Work my way through promotion to get to $250k per year.
Do you know what makes it more interesting? Earning that and living in Naij. Your house and utility bills won’t be alarming.
Multinationals also have a way around taxes which makes it less painful. Life is sweet.
What way?
A segue, but there seems to be a history of black tax with you.
It’s suffocating and needs to be handled with a brave heart if not, it’d leave the taxee frustrated and broke.
It is very dicey because I mean, who doesn’t want to help the family? I find myself struggling with it because I’d give an arm and leg for my nuclear family before I remember that I can’t walk.
But for young black professionals to be able to grow sustainable wealth, they must learn not to be guilt-tripped into giving all their money away. This would also prevent them from depending on their children when they grow old – they’d have an attractive retirement fund and viable investments to fall back on.
Word. Black Tax is a short term inconvenience for long term financial freedom. Discuss (20 marks)
I think it all depends on how you handle it. Paying black taxes on things like education of younger ones or buying a property for your old ones (which can serve as rental income) and all that can lead to a long term financial freedom because you’re empowering them.
However, if you use a chunk of your earnings to cover recurrent income (paying the food bills and electricity bills of many families), then there’s no long term freedom.
I always feel broke after I pay for all the important stuff and my account balance starts to dwindle. I literally panic.
Sorry.
What’s the last thing you paid for that required serious planning?
Everything. I plan for everything.
Do you have a safety net of sorts, in case anything goes south?
I know this is irresponsible but I’m trusting on my good genes not to fail me. I haven’t been sick almost all my life. I just need to make it to the middle of the year. No school fees to pay. Would have raised enough for rent.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your financial happiness?
3. I need more money. I need a very nice apartment and to uber my way through life – I don’t want to drive in this traffic. I need money to start investing.
It’s like you didn’t come to this life to suffer at all.
I want it, and I’m going to get it. Many times, people don’t believe me, so I’ve started talking less. Sometimes, I’m scared about how passionate I am of these things.
I never got to ask, was it one of the cold emails that landed you the current job?
Let me tell you. I made a list of 12 companies – I was picky about where I wanted to work – and sent cold emails, LinkedIn requests and all that job stalking stuff.
And that’s how I landed this job.
Funny thing is, I still get interview requests from them but guess who now sends rejection emails to companies?
Energy.
Check back every Monday at 9 am (WAT) for a peek into the Naira Life of everyday people. But, if you want to get the next story before everyone else, with extra sauce and ‘deleted scenes’, subscribe below. It only takes a minute.
). The people of Nairaland informed me that most times, this isn’t a stand-alone reason for a denial and is usually compounded by one of reasons I’ll be listing shortly.
Book your reservations today There’s many options to chose from • • #afrospot #foodie #torontorestaurants #naijafood #naijajollof #goodfood #favoriteplace #spreadlove
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