1. Your mother, when it’s Saturday morning and you’re still sleeping:

See this lazy child.

2. When you hear your mother blasting gospel music and you know endless cleaning is about to go down.

Hay God!

3. When you try to eat breakfast before you’ve done any work.

Eat what?

4. When your mother sees you watching Cadbury’s breakfast television before you’ve finished your work.

Is this child mad?

5. When you are already cleaning the whole house but your mother is still like:

Hian! What is it?

6. When you think you’ve finished and your mother invents new work for you.

Chineke!

7. When you hear “today is environmental” but every Saturday is already environmental sanitation to you.

See these ones.

8. You, finally eating breakfast when it’s almost evening:

This one has passed brunch.

9. When you want to go out that Saturday so you wake up by 3am to do all your chores:

Can’t risk it oh!

10. When your mother leaves the whole kitchen for you to clean after her Saturday cooking.

Is it fair?

11. The worst Saturday morning chore:

THE ABSOLUTE WORST.

12. When NEPA waits for you to complete all your chores before they take light.

Who is doing me from my village?

13. When you are finally about to rest and you hear “let’s go to the market.”

WHAT IS IT OH?

Finally, someone has come to admit that #JerryCanLivesMatter. During the horrible fuel scarcity that rocked Nigeria in 2016, the government banned the sale of fuel in jerrycans.

This ban resulted in people carrying their generators to filling stations. Seriously, we’re not joking.

However, a Nigerian lawyer and human rights activist, Chief Malcolm Omirhobo, isn’t taking this ban lightly. He has filed a lawsuit against the Nigerian government, challenging this really stressful ban.

He said the fact that Nigerians don’t even have light at home is enough reason to overturn this ban.

In his opinion, instead of arresting people with Jerrycans, the Nigerian police ought to check the activities of Black Marketers and also people who engage in jungle justice.

Basically, the Nigerian government need to face their work and simply:

We hope something positive comes out of this lawsuit. Four words: Chief Malcom for President!

These were the most read, shared, and laughed at Zikoko posts from the month of July. So, in case you missed any of them or just want to read your faves again, we did what we at Zikoko do best and made a list:

1. When You Know It’s Marriage O’clock

2. 13 Pictures That Basically Define Breakfast In A Nigerian Home

3. 12 Times Nigerian Pre-Wedding Shoots Were Just Extra

4. 10 Nigerians That Actually Have Two Heads

5. 15 Pictures That Prove Yoruba Movies Have No Chill At All

6. 15 Pictures You’ll Recognize If You’ve Ever Stepped Into A Nigerian Kitchen

7. 16 Dining Hall Struggles Every Nigerian Boarder Will Remember

8. 18 Things Every Nigerian Will Remember About Their Parents Having Visitors Over

 9. 14 Weird Ways Nigerian Parents Show That They Love You

10. 13 Images About Prep That Won’t Make Sense To Nigerians Who Didn’t Go To Boarding School

11. The Different Types of Nigerian Fathers That Exist

12. The Case Of The Nigerian Minister Who’s Afraid Of Saying Vagina

 13. The Hilarious Story Of Jollof Rice’s Love Life

 14. The Most Embarrassing Exam Leak Happened In Ethiopia, But The Government Clapped Back

 15. Kim Kardashian Came For Taylor Swift And The Reactions Are The Most Hilarious Things On The Internet

Just when we thought Nigerian police officers were the only ones that liked to form bad guy…

And turn up like there’s no tomorrow…

These Ghanaian officers just shocked us in this video.

They were giving us serious moves o!

Ghanaians, when they see the police officers twerking up and down.

Not every time enforce law, sometimes throw home training away and turn up!

1. When you tell your mother you need clothes and she asks if you’ve finished wearing the ones you have.

Hay God!

2. When your hear your mother shout “come and see if this shirt is your size”.

YES!!!

3. Your face, when your mother says “you’ll grow into it”:

Be lying.

4. When you ask your mother to buy adidas for you and she comes home with:

“What’s the difference?”

5. When you ask your mother for a suit vs. When you ask your mother for jeans:

If it is not “responsible” cloth, you are not smelling any money.

6. When she uses a broomstick to measure your shoe size before going to the market.

Which one is this?

7. When she still comes home with shoes that are two sizes too big.

She will now give you paper to chook inside.

8. When you ask her to help you buy something and she makes you follow her to the market.

Hian! On top socks?

9. When she refused to buy that shirt you liked just because of extra N500.

Na wa oh!

10. When she buys your Christmas clothes in July because it will be cheaper.

Mama the mama.

11. When she buys you something and you ask her how much it was.

“Do you want to give me the money back?”

12. When she buys you and all your siblings the exact same cloth.

Who is doing ‘and co’ with you people?

13. You, on that rare occasion your mother actually buys you something you like.

Wow! So you sabi like this?

1. When you leave teen church and realise you are now a member of adult church:

Ahn ahn! Just like that?

2. When someone suggests you join the choir/drama/ushering department because “singles are many there”:

Sorry please who asked you?

3. When the pastor starts giving marriage tips and marriage is sounding like punishment:

It’s kuku not by force!

4. How your newly engaged friends leave singles fellowship:

“I am not one of them.”

5. When your newly engaged church friend is already dispensing relationship advice during bible study:

Uncle shey you will marry first before you start doing abebelube!

6. When people start saying you’ll “find your Boaz/Proverbs 31 woman”:

Hello please did I tell you they are my spec?

7. How people look at you when they see you with different friends of the opposite sex 3 weeks in a row:

Someone cannot have friends in peace!

8. When people in church think you and your friend are “courting”:

HELLO PLEASE LET’S OBSERVE CALM DOWN!

9. When there is yet another singles conference:

Is it every month?

10. When someone claims God told them you are going to be their wife/husband:

Please he did not tell me oh!

11. When couples start feeling cool in church:

Please did Jesus marry?

12. How your parents looks at you when the pastor asks single people to stand up for prayers:

Oya stand up so you can leave their house!

1. “Allowance”

Which one is allowance? Are they not ‘allowing’ you live in their house for free? My friend, will you leave this place.

2. “Privacy”

You want them to give you privacy in their own house? You want them to knock before they enter your bedroom? You’re a joker. You will get privacy when you move out and marry.

3. “Dating”

Which one is dating? Better face your book, graduate, then you can ‘date’ your spouse after both of you have married finish.

4. “Sex”

Sex doesn’t exist. Simpu. The end. Full stop. Bye.

5. “Rest”

Rest ke? Are you God? Even God created the whole world before he rested? What have you done in your small life that you are resting? You can rest when you have died, abeg.

6. “Please”

Why are the people that gave birth to you telling you “please” biko? So they should beg you to bring the remote that is right beside them? You are not a serious somebody.

7. “Sorry”

Shebi people only say sorry when they are wrong? Well, there you have it, your parents can never be wrong. So why should they even know that word?

8. “Thank you”

Wait, you want your parents to thank you for doing something? See this comedian. The only time you might mistakenly hear those words is if you tell them “I love you.”

9. “Adult”

You think you are now an adult because you have turned 18 abi 21? Ehn go and report to the police that your parents don’t know what adult means. You will still chop all these slaps and punishments.

10. “Sick”

You’re not sick, you are well in Jesus’ name.  Now stand up from that hospital bed, wear your uniform and be going to school.

11. “Sleepover”

You want to go and sleep inside another person’s house? You don’t have house? You don’t have bed? Infact, you don’t have sense.

12. “Whispering”

Why should they be whispering? If they don’t shout on the phone and at the person standing right beside them, how will people now hear what they are saying?

13. “Grounded”

Which kind of oyinbo nonsense is that one, abeg? Go an bring that cane from their room now now jare.

1. How you say hello in the morning:

Because how good is the morning if he is hungry?

2. If he gets a new job:

So the job will balance very well!

3. If he loses his job:

Before you cry too much, at least eat.

4. On Valentine’s day:

There is love in food.

5. On his birthday:

Birthday boys deserve food!

6. On your anniversary:

Let’s celebrate our love with a meal!

7. If he loses a loved one, this is how you show you care:

Mourn your loved one with a full stomach.

8. When he says he is broke:

Because a truly broke person cannot afford to eat!

9. When you are broke:

Be romantic and bring something out sir!

10. How you say “I love you”:

Yes indeed!

In case you missed it, the Super Eagles Under-23 Team has clinched its first victory at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games, despite some serious glitches.

Even after Olivia the Parrot (soccer psychic) predicted a Japan win, the U-23 team beat Japan 5-4, bringing Nigeria her first win at Rio 2016.

This victory comes as a big surprise, considering the incredible amount of stress the U-23 team members went through just hours before the match.

The Nigerian sports ministry, ever so organized, somehow had the team stranded in Atlanta, USA. The team missed a flight last Friday due to a communications mix-up.

Another flight was booked for Wednesday this week, but unfortunately could not transport all the team members at once.

Minister of Youth and Sports Development, Solomon Dalung while addressing the cause for the delay implied that the government was not responsible for it.

Planning and logistics for the team is the direct responsibility of the Nigerian Football Federation, but would it hurt if the sports minister showed some concern?

Delta Airlines had to come to our rescue. General Manager, Mike Lowry, and his team prepped a plane in time for an early flight to Manaus, 6 hours before the game, FREE OF CHARGE!

The drama did not end there. A wrong National Anthem was mistakenly played before the match.

Even after that experience, Oghenekharo Etebo scored 4 goals in a single match! That was after Sadiq Umar scored a goal in the first 7 minutes of the game.

We just want to thank the Nigerian Government, especially the Honorable Minister for Sports, Solomon Dalung, for all the support they’ve shown the Dream Team VI so far.

In fact, the way our government is treating Nigerian Athletes representing us at Rio 2016 is too wonderful! Continue!

Against all odds, we see our team is ever ready. According to Team Captain Mikel Obi: “We may be tired and frustrated, but we’re all still together and ready to win gold in Rio.”

Nigerian Athletes, please continue with the good work o! We wish you all another amazing Atlanta ’96 win!

1. When you misbehave anywhere else:

When you misbehave in a Nigerian home:

How will they now ground someone they don’t even allow to go out?

2. The washing machine anywhere else:

via @sirNdou

The washing machine in a Nigerian home:

via @SirNdou

Your clothes oh, your parents’ clothes oh, your neighbour’s clothes sef, all join. You will wash.

3. When your parents see you resting anywhere else:

When your parents see you resting in a Nigerian home:

via @JoshAkpan

What have you done that you are resting?

4. The dishwasher everywhere else:

via @zas_leo

The dishwasher in a Nigerian home:

via @zas_leo

That big pot on the stove is sha your worst enemy.

5. Saturday mornings anywhere else:

Saturday mornings in a Nigerian home:

You will clean the house till it’s time to go to church the next day.

6. The car wash everywhere else:

via @Gash_III

The car wash in a Nigerian home:

via @Gash_III

You will wash under the car join.

7. Before you go to bed anywhere else:

Before you go to bed in a Nigerian home:

Bedtime stories ke? Read your bible and sleep biko.

8. The TV remote anywhere else:

via @DJWoske

The TV remote in a Nigerian home:

via @DJWoske

Which one is remote when you are there to change channel.

9. How your parents wake you up for school anywhere else:

How your parents wake you up for school in a Nigerian home:

Better wear your uniform and be going to school.

10. The vacuum cleaner anywhere else:

The vacuum cleaner in a Nigerian home:

Oya go and carry that broom and packer.

Yesterday, President Barack Obama wrote an amazing essay for Glamour Magazine titled “This Is What a Feminist Looks Like“. This came a few months after his wonderful remarks at the first White House Summit on the ‘United States of Women’. In his essay, he highlighted the importance of the father-daughter relationship in raising young women unafraid to speak up and be the best they can be.  

This inspired us at Zikoko to celebrate the relationship between black fathers and their daughters:

1. Steph Curry and his little fireball, Riley.

2. Benny Harlem and his daughter, Jaxyn, giving us hair goals!

3. AY and his daughter, Michelle.

4. Muhammad Ali and his mini-me, Laila.

5. Kunle Afolayan braiding his daughter, Eyiyemi’s hair.

6. The rapper, The Game, and his adorable little girl.

7. President Muhammadu Buhari and two of his daughters, Zahra and Halimat.

8. Basketmouth and his daughter, Janelle.

9. RMD and his two lovely daughters.

10. Jay Z and his daughter, Blue Ivy.

11. Pastor Tony Rapu and his beautiful daughters, Kene and Uju.

12. Will Smith and his daughter, Willow.

13. President Barack Obama and his oldest daughter, Malia.

In these harsh economic times, the Nigerian government have done what they’re good at once again. The Central Bank of Nigeria on August 4, directed all banks and licensed Forex traders to sell the Pilgrims Travelling Allowance at an exchange rate of N197 to the dollar.

We’re not lying, seriously, just look at the circular that was passed by the CBN.

Can you imagine that?

At a time where many people in the North-East are suffering from starvation and lack of medical support, this gist cannot be any more shocking and mind boggling.

Perhaps they think those of us that have been buying the dollar at almost N400 have two heads sha.

Abi do they think we’re children of Satan that don’t deserve good things?

When you realise the government is wasting money on pilgrimage while most of its citizens can’t afford the current exchange rate.

Nigerian government and all the leaders, abeg:

We will not take this o! The Nigerian government should fix this economy instead of doing ojoro up and down.

In 1984, President Buhari launched the War Against Indiscipline brigade during his military rule to curb indiscipline and corruption in the country. At the time, the brigade flogged people who jumped queues, and those who were thought to be corrupt were detained.

Although very little has been heard of this brigade since then, President Buhari has relaunched this brigade that was met with criticism roughly one year after his election as civilian President in 2016.

This relaunch, however, didn’t sit well with Nigerians.

They could’ve just trained the officers in other existing law enforcement agencies.

Indiscipline is the least of the problems Nigerians are facing right now.

Will the war against indiscipline put food on the table of hungry Nigerians?

Is the Nigerian government not tired of fighting all these ‘wars’?

Are we going to start randomly chopping cane in 2016?

Instead of Daddy Bubu to try and make the price of rice cheaper.

When your government is doing oversabi instead of fulfulling election promises.

For people who want to be ridiculous like this guy, it’s the job of a working police force to maintain law and order in the society!

1. When people ask you what “cream” you are using:

It’s the glory of God oh!

2. When people ask if you are “a half caste”:

It’s like you people don’t know that word is offensive sha!

3. When people automatically assume you are Igbo:

So it’s now by force abi?

4. When “oyinbo” becomes your nickname:

How about something different for a change? PLEASE!

5. When you misbehave small and people start shouting “it’s because she is yellow oh”:

Ahn ahn!

6. When people imply your light skin got you something you worked hard for:

You better not allow yourself be an unfortunate human being!

7. When people talk about being light skinned like it’s a skill:

You better allow your head be correct!

8. When a man thinks saying “I like you because of your yellow” is a compliment.

My personality and brain that one is just decoration abi?

9. When you see a job description that includes “light skinned”:

What type of skill is it oh?

10. When you reject someone’s advances and they imply it’s because you are light skinned and therefore very proud:

I say I don’t like you!

1. Ogbono soup that will never forget to send you ‘good morning’ texts:

via @EatingNigerian

2. Banga soup that will always notice when you change your hairstyle:

via @EatingNigerian

3. Egusi soup that will ignore Premier league to gist with you:

via @DobbysSignature

4. Efo riro that will use it’s school fees to buy you the latest iPhone:

via @9jafoodie

5. Okro soup that will let you cheat on it in peace.

via @DooneysKitchen

6. Puff puff that will take you to Dubai for Valentine’s day.

via @DooneysKitchen

7. Akara that won’t wait for you to be broke before blessing you with credit alert:

via @EatingNigerian

8. Dodo that will stay awake and fan you when NEPA takes light at night:

via Oya Come Chop

9. Ewa Agoyin that won’t start squeezing face when you ask to meet it’s family:

via @EatingNigerian

10. Nkowbi that will buy YOU something on its own birthday:

via @DooneysKitchen

11. Asun that will let you eat it when you say you’re hungry:

via @DooneysKitchen

12. Catfish peppersoup that will never take more than 10 seconds to reply your messages:

via @DobbysSignature

13. White rice and stew that will give you Bella Naija proposal:

via @phummyndeps

14. Fried rice that will always send you monthly allowance out of its salary:

via @DobbysSignature

15. Jollof rice that will buy car for you when it’s still jumping bus:

via Belita Opene

MAGGI knows good food is the best bae. Follow the hashtag on Facebook and Instagram: #GoodFoodIsBae

1. How people react when they hear your name the first time:

Their brain is already frying.

2. Your face, whenever someone tries to pronounce your name:

Chai!

3. When someone asks if you have “an easier name”.

You will learn today.

4. You, calculating how much time you spend sounding out your name for people:

Wasting my life.

5. When you still have to spell it for them right after pronouncing it.

STRESS!

6. When people still get your name wrong after you’ve corrected them a million times.

Are you mad ni?

7. When people give you a nickname you hate against your will.

Did I send you?

8. When a teacher hesitates during roll call and you know they are about to destroy your name.

Hay God!

9. You, whenever someone says “sorry if I butcher your name”:

Save your sorry.

10. When they correct you when you say “Susan” wrong, but can’t get “Kunle” right.

See your life.

11. When you can’t even remember the true pronunciation of your own name again.

Everybody has already scattered it for you.

12. Your face, whenever someone asks what your name means:

You can like to mind your business.

13. When you stop telling people your name first and just start spelling it.

No energy, abeg.

This is post is brought to you by MAGGI @ 50:

The big idea for the MAGGI 50th anniversary campaign is: Let’s Celebrate. We intend to do this primarily by sending gift boxes containing specially curated ingredients and gifts to women influencers pan Nigeria & beyond for trusting MAGGI in the past years, and in the future ahead. Clink the link below to learn more.

In 2015, the most talked about show in Nigeria, ‘Wakaa! The Musical‘ first premiered at the Muson Center in Lagos to a sold-out audience.

Following its success in Nigeria, Bolanle Austen-Peters, the brain behind the musical decided to take it to the international scene with its London premiere in July 2016.

via Bella Naija

Bolanle, who has been in the theater industry for 12 years got the inspiration to go into musicals after seeing Fela on Broadway 2 years ago.

via Twitter

The highly satirical production was on for 7 days at the Shaw Theatre and was sold out on the the opening night!

Wakaa! tells the experiences of 6 friends from different backgounds who made a bet on their graduation to be successful in their various fields. The show basically highlights Nigerian politics and the struggles young Nigerians face at home and abroad.

via Wakaa

In case you missed it, you can watch highlights of the show below:

1. When your mother makes you vacate your room because that’s where your aunty/uncle will be staying.

So all that foreign currency and no money for hotel?

2. When you see all the goodies they brought for you and your siblings.

Time to stunt!

3. When they are extra surprised you’ve grown since the last time they saw you.

Was I supposed to stay the same size forever?

4. When they start exclaiming that Nigeria has developed because of internet.

Just wait till there is no water in the tap tomorrow.

5. When they start using one accent that does not have head or tail.

Please which part of the overseas does this one come from?

6. When your parents start reporting every small thing you’ve done to them.

Who asked you oh!

7. When your parents volunteer you as driver/tour guide/personal assistant for your uncle or aunty.

So I don’t have my own life I want to live abi?

8. How they dress when you people are going out.

So you people don’t even care about fashion in the overseas or what?

9. When they start encouraging your parents to send you abroad.

Tell them please!

10. When your parents shut down that encouragement:

So no abroad living for me?

11. When your uncle or aunty take you out, they’re like:

Yes aunty and uncle. Spend that money on me!

12. When they leave and your parents now have time to be disturbing you again:

Nothing good lasts forever sha.

1. Nojim Maiyegun, the boxer who was Nigeria’s 1st medalist at the 1964 Olympics in Tokyo.

via Box Rec

2. Victor Ikpeba posing with his coach, Arsene Wenger, when he played for AS Monaco in 1993.

via See Me See Nigeria

3. Sir Adesoji Aderemi, when he became the first Nigerian and African to be appointed Governor in the Commonwealth in July 1960.

via See Me See Nigeria

4. Olabisi Ajala who was famous in the 50’s for travelling around the world on a scooter, got his nickname ‘Ajala Travel’ after Ebenezer Obey made a song about him in the 60s.

via See Me See Nigeria

5. Legendary NBA basketballer, Hakeem Olajuwon, throwing this iconic shot at the NBA finals in 1994.

via Sportige

6. This picture of the first Nigerian football team to ever leave West Africa was taken in 1949. They were coached by John Jack Finch.

via See Me See Nigeria

7. The first black pilot in aviation history, Izmirli Aliogu Ahmed, had a Nigerian grandmother from Bornu. This picture was taken during the 1st world war in 1916.

via See Me See Nigeria

8. Latunde Odeku, the first black man to be trained as a Neurosurgeon in the U.S.

via See Me See Nigeria

9. Bolaji Badejo, the 7 ft Nigerian design student and one-time actor was featured in 1978 classic, ‘Alien’.

via Bored Panda

10. Fela and Lou Reed at an Amnesty Benefit Concert that was held at the Giants Stadium, New Jersey in 1986.

via Getty Images

11. Orlando Martins, one of England’s best actors in 1947, was the first Nigerian Hollywood actor.

via See Me See Nigeria

12. Edna Park, the 1st Nigerian beauty queen to represent Nigeria at the Miss Universe contest collapsed on stage when she didn’t make the top 15 finalists in 1964.

via The Young Radicals